The bitter aspirin.

Dear Lord, I have never wanted something so badly in my life. I wanted some petty things back in the past and yeah, some of them were not good for me (I figured a few months later). But this, THIS, *this* particular prayer is really something I want so so so badly (and I don't think it will be bad for me). Lord, please grant this particular prayer.

I want to work as a                  in the                              . You know, yesterday I saw the announcement in their website. When I read the ad, you saw my reaction: my eyes twinkled, my heart skipped a beat and bam! I fell in love with the job in an instant. Oh, how I felt that I am truly meant to be               !

You saw how I obsessedly edited various materials back in college. I edited whatever I caught gaze upon: articles, bulletin posts, teasers, ads in the TV and radio, and practically whatever I saw. Whenever I heard/saw an error in my friends' grammar, "nagpapanting ang tainga ko." A little grammar nazi you might call me, but I also edit myself most of the time.

I edited manuscripts for a few college friends. That I did without pay. I even volunteered to do the editing. I am so passionate at it. You know that because you saw the things I did. I spent sleepless nights editing stuff. You know how much effort and passion I invested to get myself ready for this job. And now, the time has come.

I know it was not an accident when I clicked that link that led me to that website that led to that link that led me to that job vacancy page. You crafted that very moment because you don't play dice with the universe; you don't play dice with me or my laptop. And so with eagerness, I respond to the link's calling; I respond to your calling if this is your will. But I cannot guarantee any certainty at this point in my life. Even when I get the job interview, it won't even be an assurance that I will get the job given that I'm timid and tend to stutter and let's face it, I suck at job interviews.

And so, I am left with my barrenness and lack of ability. Right now I need no one but an all-knowing and all-mighty Friend who never left me in all my challenges in life. Please help me. And yes, I don't mind begging if this career is what is at stake.

*If* this job is not for me, well then... Please turn it around and make it for me. Just kidding, Lord. If this is not for me, I would probably be lonely for a few days. Of course it will be frustrating. When you want something so so so badly and you don't get it, would you have a feast? Of course, you won't. But, this entire experience will be like a bitter aspirin I must swallow: it tastes awful but through it, I shall be well.

I love You, Lord. Whatever kind of aspirin I will swallow.

___________________________________

PS. Lord, just so you know, I asked the help of two of your best friends: your very own mother Blessed Mary and your martyred servant, Lorenzo Ruiz (whose feast day was yesterday). Ha! You can't say no to them, can you!