Cherry on top.

My December was a blast.

My December was the cherry on top of the delicious cake that was my 2013. It is the best month of my year! I had a lot of things going on. I was busy, my schedule was filled, I had little sleep, but it was a lot of fun :D (and I ought to share some pics too; they are too memorable) =>

a. After a long time, I finally re-attended the Communion of Reparation (ComRep) Vigil in LB. ComRep Vigil is an overnight spiritual activity -- Mass, Confession, prayers, sharing, reflection, and adoration to the Blessed Sacrament. I frequented ComRep back in college, but after I graduated, I never returned. It was so grace-filled to be with the community again and pray together, listen to inspiring sharings, and adore Christ.

b. After the overnight vigil came a crazy weekend full of papers. I spent all weekend finishing the paper, and, by God's grace, victoriously finished everything! I finished it at 5am and had 30 minutes of sleep before going to work, but the pay is worth it *wink*.

c. On Tuesday of that same week, I was invited by an orgmate to sing at ABS-CBN's Christmas Concert for the benefit of Yolanda victims. It was thrilling! It was my first time to step in the halls of the Araneta Coliseum... and I was not a spectator, but a performer! Wow... It was ecstatic. A lot of Kapamilya stars were there. Our eyes were twinkling every single moment. Haha!

At the backstage while waiting for our turn.
(c) Kajd de Leon

Stunning Kat Bernardo. And there we are in the background! LOL!
(c) JR Azagra

d. My birthday came. Many of my friends greeted me, and some even bought gifts. Touching ^____^ we had a simple celebration at home, where my titos, titas and cousins came. I was a happy kid.

I repeat: A really happy kid.
(c) Sally Eugenio 

e. The day after my birthday, I attended the Feast at PICC and heard some inspiring messages from Bo Sanchez. The most memorable advice is to "Eat your frog early in the morning, and nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of the day." It means that if I have some difficult task, I should do it right on, so that the next tasks of the day will be peanuts. This advice very much applies to me, because I always have a tendency to procrastinate difficult tasks. Bull's eye, Lord. Huhu!

f. That same day, I attended Aurum: The Philippine Madrigal Singers' 50th Anniversary Concert. It was my birthday treat -- we got 50% discount on tickets! Their voices are, as always, terrific than ever. I also got a photo op with Ily (tenor). He's so pogi! Hihi! I will definitely watch them again.

Aurum buddies.
(c) Yani Cinco

With Ily (Tenor). We do look alike so...alam na. HEHEHE
(c) Yani Cinco

g. I don't really dance, but of course, I have no power over my officemates (lol!), because it's our office tradition -- newbies get to perform at the office Christmas Party. I shrugged my shoulders and decided to just get it over with. Besides, a friend advised me to "have the courage to let yourself be vulnerable." So if this performance is going to make me vulnerable to others' judgment, then screw it!
But I didn't expect that I would have so much fun! I was really happy during our practices (tired, yes, but happy!). It was also a break from all the monotony I've been feeling in the past few weeks.
I also saw how God's providence unfolded right before our eyes. We started from scratch: no budget, no props, no organization, no professional help for our performance. But slowly, we tried to make it work. Our director, to the best of his ability, choreographed our moves; the practices pushed through; the props and costumes came in one by one. Everything was Divine Providence, I tell you.

A few hours before the party, when we were goofing around.
(c)  Leah del Rosario

The Nian Monster and I. Awesomesauce.
(c) Leah del Rosario

h. And of course, we actually WON the Best Performance award in the Christmas Party! ^______^ This is the cherry stem on the cherry on the top of the delicious cake that is my 2013! Honestly, up to this day, I still can't over the fact that we won.

Winning moment! :)
(c) Paddy Pagcaliwagan

i. Christmas is always celebrated best with family! I got to spend Christmas with my family. And although I have a bulk of papers to do, that I didn't go out much this Christmas season (I actually didn't go out at all), I feel so happy and peaceful.

Christmas @Tita Sally's. The only day I ever went out.
(c) Sally Eugenio

I feel a twinge of sadness because 2013 is almost over. 2013 is so far very good to me, I don't want it to fly away just like that. Haha! I'm nuts, I know. But I have high hopes for 2014, because my gracious God will not fail me.

Thank you, Lord! I cannot thank You enough. :)

Pag-iinarte @ CCP, slide-on-the-wall style.
(c) Yani Cinco

Christmas a la Fulton Sheen.

When God revealed Himself to this poor world of ours, men cried in astonishment: ‘Why, it is a child?’ And so it is that the closer we get to God the more we become children, and the closer God gets to us the more He becomes a child. No one in the world ever suspected that the Ancient of Days Who presided at creation would take His throne in that creation as a babe in a crib, just as no one ever thought He would tell the old men of forty, like Nicodemus, that they must be born again. Christmas, then, is the coronation of childhood, the glorification of the young whose hearts are simple, the proclamation to aging hearts that the world need not despair and die, because the Fountain of Youth has come into it to turn time backward, make old things young again.” Venerable Archbishop Fulton Sheen (In the Fullness of Time)

“Christ’s coming into the world was not like that of a sightseer to a strange city, but rather like that of an artist visiting his own studio or an author paging the books he himself has written, for in becoming incarnate, the divine Word was tabernacling Himself in His own creation.” Archbishop Fulton Sheen (In The Fullness of Time)

Jesus Christ is God in the form of man. The eternal appears in time. The Eternal Word, by Whom all things in the world were made, is now rejected by the world He made: “There was no room in the inn.” The Bird Who built the nest of the universe is hatched therein: He Who made His mother, is born of His Mother. All the nations of the earth are made of one blood, and now the Son of God partakes and assumes that blood as the new Head of Humanity.
At Bethlehem, heaven and earth meet: God and Man look each other in the face. A Mother for the first time in the universe, as she holds the babe in her arms, now looks “down” to heaven.
Because nothing greater than this will ever happen in the world, the peace of the world is conditioned upon that great act being repeated, in a reduced measure, in each of us. As God took upon Himself a human nature through the free consent of a woman, so too He asks us, through our free consent to give Him our nature, as Mary gave Him one. Then Christ begins to rule our mind: then we put on the mind of Christ, the love of Christ, the Spirit of Christ. Not many are willing to do this.
“He came unto His own and His own received Him not.” That is why there are Christmas cards with sleighs and fat men. But there will always be some who will see and understand the meaning, and to all who received Him “He gave them the power to become the sons of God.” We cannot have the word Christmas without Christ: so neither can we be Merry on the inside without Him."
Archbishop Fulton Sheen 1962 (Bishop Sheen Writes)

"The date is December twenty-fifth, but to the humble man, it is Christmas; the manger is a throne; the straw is royal plumage; the stable is a castle; and the Babe is God. He found Power because he was weakness, and the Infinite, Immense and Eternal God, because he was little – for it is only by being little that we ever discover anything big.
He lies upon straw on earth and yet sustains the universe and reigns in Heaven; He is born in time, and yet He existed before all time; Maker of the stars under the stars; Ruler of the earth an outcast of earth; filling the world, lying in a manger. And yet the proud man sees only a Babe. The humble, simple souls, who are little enough to see the bigness of God in the littleness of a Babe, are therefore the only ones who will ever understand the reason of His visitation. He came to the poor earth of ours to carry on an exchange; to say to us, as only the Good God could say: You give me your humanity, and I will give you my Divinity; you give me your time, and I will give you my eternity, you give me your weary body, and I will give you Redemption; you give me your broken heart, and I will give you Love; you give me your nothingness, and I will give you My all.
Thus the birthday of the God-Man is the children’s day, in which age, like a crab, turns backwards, in which the wrinkles are smoothed by the touch of a recreating hand, in which the proud become children, and the big become little, and all find God." (The Eternal Galilean)

Midnight Mass realizations. Merry Christ-Mass!

There was a gush of realizations on today's midnight Mass on the Solemnity of the birth of our Lord. I could feel God's words swelling up like it was still 33 AD. Truly, when the Word of God is remembered, the past and the present seem to converge. The Word is alive!

a. Even before the Angel Gabriel came to her, Mary was already beginning her 'fiat' when she was betrothed to Joseph. It was this very first act of submission to God's plan that proceeded to her eventual 'fiat' to becoming Christ's mother. Mary's life, in its entirety, is an act of submission to God's will.

b. Mary asking "How will this be so, since I have no relations with a man?" (Lk. 1:34) shows faith seeking understanding. There is nothing wrong to ask God about his will for us; it is certain that our human understanding will find its limits. We might find answers that are vague and beyond our understanding, but God's ways are always the wisest.

c. When Mary came to visit Elizabeth, I could imagine how awestruck the latter is. "And why is it granted me, that the mother of my Lord should come to me?" (Lk. 1:43) This is the true Sense of the Sacred: a thumping heart and awe-filled soul when face-to-face with the Living Sacrament. Mary's mere presence fills the soul with the Holy Spirit. This is possible not by Mary's own merits, but by the Child who was in her womb!

d. When exulted by Elizabeth, Mary responded by giving back the glory to Christ: "My soul magnifies the Lord; my spirit rejoices in God my savior" (Lk. 1:47). It has always been Mary's role in the history of Christianity: to magnify the Lord. When she is exulted, she humbles herself and exults Christ instead. And with this, her beauty radiates even more.

e. When the time for Mary to give birth came, Joseph frantically, but well-composedly tried to find an inn for them. I can see how the Lord planned this perfectly: that St. Joseph be father to Christ, because he will do everything for Mary and Jesus, even if it meant knocking on endless doors and begging to be taken in. I wish that every girl find a man like this to be her own husband: a man after Joseph's own heart.
In our times, we tend to be like the innkeepers, who kept the door shut for Christ. We tend to be too busy that we may not have any room for Christ in our heart. But the only way to experience the divine is to accept his simplicity and let him in; like how the owner of the barn took the Holy Family.

f. As if coming to the world as a mere human is not enough, the Lord decided to do something even more humbling -- be born in a manger. The King of Kings was born on a manger. THE KING OF KINGS WAS BORN ON A MANGER! Even I was born on a hospital bed, complete with medical supplies and safety kits. But the Lord of heaven and earth chose to be born on a manger? This is the first of the numerous instances where Christ would humble himself to be living example. This, truly, is the Lord of humility.

In order to find the Lord, one need not look far and wide; one need not search the most royal of palaces. Because the Lord is found in the simplest place in the world -- the manger. In simplicity, the true riches are hidden. In simplicity, the divine is found.

____________
All these reflections and more in the best season of the year. May we experience and share to others the true meaning of Christmas as we meditate in the life of Christ. MERRY CHRISTMAS! Gloria in excelsis Deo!

O sing to the LORD a new song; sing to the LORD, all the earth!
Sing to the LORD, bless his name; tell of his salvation from day to day.
Declare his glory among the nations, his marvelous works among all the peoples!
Let the heavens be glad, and let the earth rejoice; let the sea roar, and all that fills it;
let the field exult, and everything in it! Then shall all the trees of the wood sing for joy
before the LORD, for he comes, for he comes to judge the earth. He will judge the world with righteousness, and the peoples with his truth. (Ps. 96: 1-3, 11-13)

Still, omnia in bonum.

12-20-31
Posted on Facebook:

When God led me to this company, my initial plan was to stay for just a few months until I get the job I was really pining for. The thought that I would actually like this job didn't occur to me. I thought I would hate the tiring routine, the overtime, the long travel, the Saturday work...

But in a mystical way, I found a profound joy in this job, which I didn't find in my previous job, and which trumps all those other minimal concerns. I learned that what matters the most is that one finds peace of mind in his work, no matter how hard the circumstances are.

This inexplicable joy and peace of mind is the reason why I am sure that this is precisely where God wants me to be right now. Finding joy in this work, I can feel that in this way, God is using me for his greater glory. I may not be the best and perfect editor as of yet, but with this joy I find in my work, I may finally let God perfect me, and in turn, let others see him through me.

Omnia in bonum (everything is for the good). God never fails in reserving the best for his people. May we never falter in believing in him, no matter how confusing his will sometimes is.

PS. By God's grace, I am now a regular employee, and I opt to stay longer. Thank you, Lord!

My theological questions on soulmates and destiny. Yep, for real!

What is God's stand on soulmates, serendipity and destiny? As far as freewill is concerned, I am free to choose wherever and I want to be and whoever I want to be with. Right?

But then...

If God set it that I were to meet a guy in a certain area, but I choose not to go, then I would have eluded the guy who was supposed to be my soulmate. (So in that case, he was not really my soulmate to begin with. Or is that the case?) Confusing, right?

How does all of this work? Is it true that God reserves for people (who are bound to enter the vocation of marriage) someone who is bound to be their "soulmate"? Up to what point does He interfere with this aspect of life?

I always like to think that, while God allows circumstances to happen to me, in principle, I am in control of my life -- the freewill that God gave me makes me the captain of my own ship. The whole point of freewill is for us to freely choose and love Him, so in principle, He would not dare mess with our freewill. But if I meet a guy in a serendipity-like manner and marry him, is it valid to say that it was God's arrangement? Or was it MY arrangement (because you know, I was the one who chose to fall in love), and God merely allowed that arrangement because He gives consent to my will of marrying this guy? What caused me to meet the guy in the first place -- me or God? And what caused me to actually fall in love? Really, whose moving is this? What role do I partake in this situation, and what role does God?

Jagged pieces.

Broken, like glass that’s fallen, that's what I am
into pieces, a thousand fragments, broken by
every shattered dream and every time I fail,
every word of anger, each time hate prevails.

You are a broken glass. You fell, failed, and was scattered into many pieces. You try to carefully tread into the way, but still you continue to be wounded. You are smashed beyond repair.

And nobody uses a broken glass like you. A broken glass is kept away and put to trash; nobody will have the audacity to pick you up. You are a broken glass; you will be dispatched, because you are useless.

Or are you?

You continue to resist being touched, because you are afraid of baring to others how broken you are. Anyone who touches you gets pricked; therefore, you are sure to harm others. Instead of causing others to bleed, you choose to bleed alone.

This is why you try your best to cover up this brokenness -- by putting on a classy robe that hides it. This robe distracts you and others from looking within. It gives you the idea that you are invincible. Everything seems well and easy, and you hope this strategy works.

Or does it?

Too often I’ve run away, and too often I’ve hid my face;
too seldom, I’ve sought your boundless embrace.

This robe is the cloak of your busyness, your distractions -- your excessive working, your running to and fro, your gadgets and technological whatnots, your endless parties, your nonsensical entertainment and your shallow friends.

You are so afraid of silence, for in silence, another Voice becomes audible... This Voice, no matter how soothing, is also terrifying; It reminds you of the emptiness you feel. And so for you not to be reminded of that brokenness, you keep drowning the silence by constantly listening to "music". This music pleases the ears but not the heart, and you know it, but you keep listening anyway... You try to to hush down the Voice that is heard only "when you shut down the world's volume."

...but you know deep inside, at the end of the day, that you will have to remove this robe. Sooner or later, you will have to face the truth.

Then all your brokenness will be revealed again. This is why you are afraid to take off the robe.

What is a way out of this mess? How do you heal your brokenness?

You don't.

At least for now.

And though glass can cut like nails,
still You pick up these jagged pieces
though they wound You with pain and pride.
You soothe them beneath Your fingers
and comfort this broken child.

If you try so hard to heal yourself, you will have tried in vain. You will seek refuge to the world...but the world can only do so much to heal you. The world in all its vainglories cannot heal you.

But there is Someone who can. He is the hand that picks you up in spite of your brokenness. This Hand is not afraid to touch a broken glass like you. In fact, He will lovingly and willingly do so. He knows that you are prickly and painful to touch, yet He carries you anyway.

In the process, His hand gets pricked, because you are stubborn and you keep resisting His embrace. You continuously pierce Him while struggling to run away from His presence. He holds you tighter to His bosom and you resist it, and you make Him bleed... but all the more He holds on to you dearly.

The world continuously makes His heart and hand bleed, for man's persistent resistance to Him makes Him bleed like hell. There is bloodshed in the heart of God.

But this blood is the only way to heal the world. God's pain became mankind's gain.

How odd and ironic is it?

And he won't let you go, no matter how much you hurt Him.

There is no way you can heal yourself. Because there is only one person who can heal you, one Hand who can pick you up.

So I’ll offer these broken pieces
each day I’ll bring them where You reside
and rest there, safe in Your presence
forever, Your broken child.
Your broken, beloved child.

Because you need to be broken in order to be shared.