The culture of hustle.

We live in a culture of speed and hustle, and to be honest, it's killing me.

Ours is a culture when everything is available in an instant; no one wants to wait. Everyone moves swiftly... Everything is fast-paced, things must occur as soon as possible.

My typical day is this: Wake up in a rush. Prepare for work in a rush. Walk quickly. Take the LRT and utility van (that seem pretty much like the Hunger Games of public transport). Do my paperwork as quickly as possible (any longer, the papers would pile themselves up on my desk). Get home as fast as I can. And then...aaah, thank God I have a home. Because if I didn't, I would lose my sanity.

Then repeat the cycle the next day.

I take part in this culture of hustle and embrace its perks, but at times, I long to distance myself from the rush of the world. In solitary moments, I would loathe how I am part of this culture. I would hate how I rush every morning, how I keep up with the hundreds of thousands of people who commute every day, how I walk/run (yes, run; If I could fly I would) to beat my 8am schedule. I dread the fact that I have to walk quickly (because most people walk in that pace too), and how I hate the fact that I cannot walk idly. If you walk idly, (a) you might be late, and/or (b) you might get robbed. Do I sound so panicky? I'm a little girl in a vast and busy city.

I know it's the nature of my job, but sometimes, I hate being so deadline-driven. I dread the fact that time always seems to be our enemy; I hate it when it's as if we have to rush all the time. I imagine that we are always on a race; if you don't keep up, you're gonna get trampled upon. We might as well become robots.

It's quite hard to find solitude in the midst of a busy state where I am, let alone find time for God. God is best found in silence; His voice is heard in pitches inaudible to the human ear. Only the heart hears God, but when the heart is bugged by the world's noise, it can really be quite hard to hear Him.

I cannot possibly change this entire culture. I believe that for the meantime, my calling is to be here, and I don't intend to distance myself from the world.

There is nothing left to do but just pause from the hustle. And when I pause, God is there.

Everyday remains a challenge for me, and for you too, to try find God everywhere, even in the midst of the world's noisiest place. I want to seek Him in my daily tasks; I want Him by my side as I travel, I want to find Him in the strangest places, in the most unlikely circumstances, where He seems absent. Indeed, there is no place outside God, but our hearts tend to be so calloused, it can be tempting to not acknowledge His presence.

Let us be "with the world" but not "of the world;" let us blend in with the world but not be corrupted by it. For when all things come to an end, all the hustle, the noise, and the distractions shall fade away. Only two shall be present: there will be silence, and there will be God.

Oh, the feels.

There's an onion-cutting ninja near me.

(comic strip grabbed from: http://theunboundedspirit.com/this-comic-about-love-will-touch-your-heart/)

Araw ng paghilom.

Huwag kang manindim, puso kong nasaktan
Pahirin ang luha, mga sugat ay takpan
Manahimik lamang, mga labi'y itikom
Malapit na, malapit na ang paghilom

A little bit of redemption.

I'm in the quest of granting my soul a little bit of redemption.

Lately, I've been focused on so many things -- my work, personal concerns, financial difficulties, new people coming into [and soon going out of] my life... that I wasn't able to make room for my soul and her well-being.

I've been stressed with so much work to do. I somehow forgot what all of this is about.

For a while, I forgot that this is all for the Lord. I took away the Lord in the picture, and not long after, everything seemed pointless.

Indeed, if one does work apart from God, he gets lost in the way. If he fails to acknowledge God in his everyday toil, he loses sight of his purpose...and all the toil becomes pointless.

Thus, the reason I've been so stressed lately. I've been asking myself "What's the point in all of this?"

And honestly, it's been so tiring.

It's so hard to run away from God, because all this time, deep in my heart I know that resistance to Him is futile.

Lent is about to come. And I wish to come back from the dead.


Kailan magwawakas ang 'yong pagtatago?
Ako'y naghihintay sa'yo.
Lumapit ka lamang, ang puso Ko'y hagkan,
Pag-ibig Ko'y walang hanggan.
-- Pag-ibig Ko, Hangad