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Tuesday, August 11, 2015

My Sheerio fandom.


Photo credits: parade.com
Sometimes I don’t get what I see in Ed. I’ve never fangirled this hard before. Ngayon lang to. Pramis.
It’s not even normal for me to blow a huge amount of money on just a night. But because I am such a Sheerio by blood, heart, and soul, my officemate Leah (who is also a Sheerio by blood, heart, and soul) and I went to see him perform live in Manila. Best day ever.

How did my fandom start? It started with the song Everything Has Changed. I really liked that song, though I was familiar only with Taylor. Then one time, someone posted on Facebook about Ed. I was intrigued. Ed Sheeran who? Upon exhaustive research (just kidding, it was just Google), I found out that he was the one in EHS. I downloaded his whole discography…and boy was I in for a treat. One thing led to another and I was hooked! His songs are sort of addictive. I was high on Ed’s songs.

Lego House was the first to catch my attention (I heard it many times before and liked it, but I didn’t know it was him). A-Team, Where We Land, UNI, All of the Stars, Drunk… I cannot possibly enumerate everything. They're a delight! And of course my most favorite of all, Give Me Love. There is something to that song that makes me play it over and over. It probably has an audial drug or earworm of some sort. Seriously, what is up with that song??? As of the moment, I have played it 599 times on my media player (yes folks, I really checked).


Then his latest album was released, X. The songs are even more breathtaking. I’m a Mess, Afire Love, I See Fire, Photograph, I willl stop enumerating now because you should honestly check out everything. I looped almost every song on that album, and I’m not finished yet.

I also started searching his background (not the creepy-stalker type ha, just a typical fangirl), following him on social media, and making his photos or song lyrics my wallpaper (okay, now that I think of it I kinda sound creepy). I find him cute and adorable. I am also mesmerized with the things he says and does. He is really cute, isn’t he?

Last 2014, Leah and I had a deal that if he were coming to Manila, we would definitely watch, no matter how costly. And much to our surprise, he did! Reserving tickets online was the hunger games of reservations. A few hours (or was it minutes?) into after the registration, there were almost no slots available. Boy, the sheerios are really fast, all hell broke loose. Good thing, a small window of opportunity opened: two adjacent seats in the lower box. We reserved it and paid via credit card (thanks Leah!). We even bought sheerio shirts to wear on the concert. It was all set. See you on March 12, Ed!

I remember counting down 67 days before the concert. Every day I waited slowly and patiently, until days 10, 5, 3… either time passed by in a blur or we were just so freakingly busy, or both, but we almost didn’t notice the time was getting near. I was thrilled! OA man sabihin, pero it had been the most blissful countdown of my life. No kidding!

Those 67 days of countdown, the exhausting week, the extra effort we exerted at work in order to render undertime, the long line, and the two hours we had to kill before the concert… All of those troubles disappeared when he stepped on stage.


*melts*
Video screenshot credits: Cherry Mariano


There was no “Hi, hello, good evening Manila!” There was no intro nor any warning. The lights suddenly dimmed out, and there he was, strumming to the chords of I’m a Mess. Nganga!!!

I couldn’t explain the feeling. I know I used to scoff at people who cry seeing their idols at concerts, but now I understand how that felt. When I saw him, I was so awestuck I myself began to cry!!! It was so overwhelming. It was like I was dreaming, but it was oh so real. Ed is an actual person. And he is singing right in front of me. No back-up dancers, no props, no elaborate stage design; just him, his guitar, his loop pedal, and a few digital backdrops. No one else was there, yet his presence was enough.

Leah and I and pretty much everyone yelled so hard, I thought our vocal chords were going to be ripped. And as if that wasn't enough, the crowd also sang along in literally every song. Including the rap parts. Other singers would normally not like that, but Ed was so amazed at the crowd he even sang second voice along with us at the lumiére over me part of Tenerife Sea. That. Was. Just. Magical. Imagine the chills, guys.


I honestly did not want the concert to end. To me, it felt like I was in one very huge jamming session, and in that moment I wanted time to freeze. Almost in a mystical way, the concert was vast and at the same time, intimate. It was paradoxically beautiful. I have never felt something like that before.

I can't tell everything here, for I was so blissful I was almost in a trance; but check out these detailed posts from cool sheerios that pretty much captured what I felt: read here; see photos here and here.

Of course, all good things must come to an end. After his last song, Sing, he left us chanting the coda  "ohhh" part, and we sang it probably for a good three minutes before realizing Ed was not coming back on stage. I yelled "Noooooo!" so hard it was seriously the loudest "no" I have ever said. But of course. Ed was gone; the concert had passed.

Leah and I were high after the concert. After a few days, we were still high on Ed. We kept on looping his songs for weeks. Seriously, that amount of rush and bliss we felt that night was pretty hard to shake off.

I know Ed would come back in Manila, because he said it so. I shall patiently wait for it. 

Thank you, Ed, for making one of the most wonderful nights of my life. Your music runs over and over my head, through my veins and straight to my heart (whatever's left of it, anyway).

And I will see you soon, because when you had us chant that "ohhh" at the end of the night, you know we never stopped. The concert is not over. We are waiting.

Monday, August 10, 2015

Listening again.

I’ve been listening again
to the album I used to listen to
when I fell in love with you.

I’ve been listening again
to this album of a familiar tune
where every song reminds me of you.

These songs were once a happy melody
that kept me awake on sleepless nights,
that touched my heart and so much more,
that soothed my very soul.

Now when I close my eyes
as these songs play on the background
I remember the times you hurt me,
the times I hurt you,
the silly fights we could have let go,
the essential fights we could have not let go,
the times you made me cry,
the times I made you cry,
the times things were complicated,
the times we weren’t happy anymore.

And then this album
becomes a collection of sad songs
and all those happy memories
are replaced with the sad ones.

We could have worked things out
we could have just been honest
we could have cleared out the vagueness
of this confusing whirl we were in.
but we didn’t.

And so I am left
with this lonely line of songs I must endure.

I shall still listen to these songs
though it hurts me to the core;
I hope next time I play them
I won’t miss you anymore.

Isantabi.

May mga araw kung saan ang kalungkutan ay madaling isantabi. Ito ang mga araw na ang isip ng tao ay nakatuon sa sari-saring mga bagay. Sa mga panahong ito ang lungkot ay nakatabi lamang sa sulok, nag-aabang, nagbabadyang magmulto anomang oras.

Ang mga araw na ito ay naiipon: lahat ng panahong hindi ka malungkot o sadyang hindi mo ito pinapansin o ipinahahalata. At ang lahat ng lungkot na naipon, kapag sumabog ay nakakamatay.

Malungkot pala ako. Hindi ko ito napansin gawa ng dami ng pinagkakaabalahan sa araw na 24 oras lang ang laman. Mga pinagkakaabalahang wala akong ideya kung saan patutungo, mga bagay na hindi ko alam kung ikagaganda nga ba ng buhay ko o ng estado ko. Sa mga bagay na ito nalilibang ako ng kaunti. Sa mga bagay na ito panandalian akong nakalilimot sa ‘yo. 

Panandalian, ngunit hindi habambuhay.

Malalim ang sugat na dinulot mo. Hindi sapat ang ilang buwang paglimot ko sa ‘yo. Isag taon na ang nakakalipas, pero parang wala namang nabago. Oo, masakit pa rin hanggang ngayon ang iyong paglayo.

At wala nang mas sasakit pa sa katotohanang hindi ka na babalik.