Kaya ko naman.

Kaya kong mabuhay nang wala ka.

Kayang kaya kong mabuhay nang wala ka
Hindi nga lang masaya.
Pero kaya ko naman.
Pero hindi masaya.
Para lang akong isang bulaklak
Na minalas na tumubo
Sa malilim na dako ng mundo,

Sa ilalim ng mga bato.
Mabubuhay naman ito
Kahit wala ang sikat ng araw
Yun nga lang, hindi ito tatayog

Lalaki itong matamlay,
At yuyuko ito hamambuhay
Gaya ng pagyuko ko
Simula noong araw na nawala ka.

Kaya kong mabuhay nang wala ka
Kaya ko, hindi nga lang masigla
Pero kaya ko naman.
Pero hindi masigla.
Para lang akong isang bata
Na nalulungkot sa loob ng bahay

Dahil di maubos-ubos ang ulan.

Nakadungaw lang ito sa bintana,

Naghihintay na magliwanag.

Parang ako ang batang ito
Na nabubuhay sa paghiling
Na tumila ang sana ang bagyo —
Ang walang katapusang bagyo —
Noong nawala ka sa buhay ko.

Kaya kong mabuhay nang wala ka
May buhay pa rin ako, pero walang halaga
Pero may buhay pa rin.
Wala nga lang halaga.
Para lang akong kung sino man siya
Na bumubungad sa akin
Sa harap ng salamin.
Nabubuhay naman siya,
Kumakain, natutulog, pumapasok,

Buhay, pero walang halaga.

At hindi ko siya kilala.

Dahil ang kilala kong siya
Ay yung pagkatao niya
Noong hindi ka pa nawawala sa buhay niya.

Kaya kong mabuhay nang wala ka
Pero hindi masaya.
Kaya kong wala ka sa araw-araw
Pero walang sigla.
Pero kaya ko namang mawala ka.
Yun nga lang, wala nang halaga.

At kaya kong mabuhay nang wala ka
Pero habambuhay akong hihiling

Na sana,

Sana,

Sana,

Hindi ka na lang nawala.

I Lived - OneRepublic

In one of the episodes of the series Red Band Society, the main character, Jordi was about to undergo an operation to amputate his leg due to complications of his disease. On that scene we hear this song play on the background -- what a creative use of the lyrics "With every broken bone, I swear I lived."

Such an empowering song.

Check the video (which is even more inspiring) here: http://youtu.be/z0rxydSolwU

I believe in you.

You are again at yet another crossroad of your relationship: the part where you are mad at her and faced with two things — to forgive her and get over it, or to forget her and really get over it.

This crossroad is a tough one, for it predestines what your fate will be for the next couple of days/weeks/months. It determines what your emotional state will be, what your actions will be, and weather you will be alone on Saturday nights. Heck, it would even determine what your meals will be.

You are so used to this cycle you are caught up in. It happens so certain and frequent that a pattern has emerged — you and she become so attached to each other, get mad at something (big or small, it doesn’t matter), not keep in touch for a time, miss each other, keep in touch again, become attached to each other again, and repeat. It’s a vicious cycle that, admit it, honestly eats up all the hell out of you.

It’s a vicious cycle you know you must break. Unfortunately, this cycle is sort of a black hole  — it sucks you right back to it in an inescapable force. It is a real struggle to get out of this whirl. Srsly. How do you even.

It’s hard because at the back of your head, you have this lunatic notion that the cycle will somehow evolve. There is a lingering feeling, no matter how minute, that the situation will change for the better. You think that, maybe this time, things between you and her will be okay.

Simply put, you are still hoping. But dear, I want you to stop hoping. This, I’m afraid to tell, is a vicious cycle so hurtful that no one emerges from it victorious. In this cycle, no one wins. No matter how great things seem to be, no matter how close you think you are to ‘seeing better days with her’, it shall always go back to the cycle it has always been. There’s no escaping this. You and she will always be apart, together, apart again, together again until one or both get tired.

The cycle will not magically evolve. The situation will not change for the better. There is no ‘maybe this time’, there will be no room for another time.

The cycle will not end unless you ruthlessly snap yourself out of it. And how do you do that? It’s an enormous feat, but boy the rewards are glorious. It takes tons of fortitude to even begin to let go of such a love. Many tears will be shed, and it may take a long time to heal, so brace yourself. But the only way to break the cycle is to get out of it, isolate yourself far from it, no matter how painful, no matter how seemingly impossible.

You can do this. You have done this before. You have triumphed over far tougher situations, and this one is no different. It may seem too hard for you, for you are so attached…but you have detached yourself from various people before and you made it. This is no different. It's time to break the cycle. You can do it. I believe in you.