I can't seem to draw the line between getting more mature and losing the zeal in life.
At times I find myself getting unexcited by the things I would have been excited about if I were seventeen. I seldom laugh my heart out, cry my heart out, get surprised and scared. A few years back, I would have been easily moved. But now, at times I find myself disinterested, tepid, noncommital, grouchy, unenthusiastic and downright apathetic. It's almost as if I'm a walking zombie.
Maturity and lukewarmness in life seem mixed-up to me; honestly, I don't know how to draw the line. How do I know if my eagerness in life is still here? How do I make sure I'm getting "more mature", but without losing my youthfulness?
What if I just don't notice it, but in my pursuit of maturity, I have already missed the fervor of life? What if in my efforts to blend in with the world of grown-ups, I have left the youth in me? What if trying hard to survive as an adult, I have killed my inner child?
Have I gotten too exhausted with figuring out the intricacies of life, that I failed to enjoy its simplicity? Have I been earnestly chasing money and career and identity, but in the midst of it all, left behind the joy of the chase? Have I been awfully old at heart? Have I turned bitter and terrible?
I want to get in touch again with the naive, carefree, childlike part of me; that part of me seems sound asleep. I wish to bring back the zeal and the joy. I want to wake up with no worries about what will happen today. I want to laugh until I hurt my belly; I want to cry for the silliest reasons; I want to yell my lungs out at the slightest startle... just like how I was a few years back.
But at the same time, I wish to retain the wisdom of growing up I have gained. I want to remain calm and composed; I want to be sturdy in adversities; I want to be in control; I want to be in charge. I wish to remain mature, sensible and sagacious.
Is it possible to grow yet un-grow? Can I mature and yet remain a child? Can I become one and still be the other? Can I get the best of both worlds?
My dear friends, help me draw the line. The grown-up part in me says it is but a little bother, but the child in me says that the sorrow stings like hell.
Sunday, August 25, 2013
Saturday, August 17, 2013
The unsolicited gift (2)
Is there some level of truth to the movie Inception? Probably. The fact that ideas can be planted in one's mind while one is asleep cannot be true for humans (at least for now), but it is true and possible with God.
God pre-planted the idea of Himself in the mind of everybody. Whether He did it while we were asleep or while we were in our mother's womb or in some other instance, we cannot know. But the only certain thing is this: the idea of God is deeply planted in our instincts since the dawn of time.
Why is it necessary for God to pre-plant this idea in us? Why are we the only species that possesses this concept of God? Why didn't He plant it in the minds of animals and other organisms? I can think of only one reason: humans have a special purpose to serve, and this "God instinct" serves as our compass in life.
This God instinct must be the guiding concept that humans need to navigate through the complexities of life. It does not mean that humans are just supposed to blindly follow this intuition of God, or the "I feel that God exists, therefore He does" attitude; rather, it pushes man to seek the Truth about God, in order that God may reveal Himself to him.
In reality, we would not have known God if it were not His initiative to reveal Himself to us. The greatness, majesty and glory of God (not to mention His three divine Persons) are too mind-boggling and overwhelming for humans to comprehend; this is one limitation of the small chunk of meat in our heads. Simply put, we cannot fathom Him in all His fullness, even if we combine all our minds together.
But in retrospect, the story did not stop there. He did not intend His children to be forever puzzled whether or not there is a God; He did not intend to surprise us when we die and say "Voila! I do exist!"; He did not leave us orphans by hiding His face to humanity. God is not just a God of all majesty and grandeur; He is, above all, The God of Love. God is a God who reveals himself. And so in order for man to love God, he ought to know Him first. "God is not ashamed to be called their God; indeed, he has prepared a city for them" (Heb 11:16).
It is for this reason that God revealed Himself to man through the course of time, as attested by the heroes of our faith in the old and new testaments. From generation to generation, God made a gradual revelation of Himself. All our brethren in the Old Testament - Adam to Noah, to Abraham, to Isaac and Jacob, to David, to Isaiah, and then on and on to John the Baptizer... laid down and foreshadowed the God, the Messiah who is to come. In the fullness of time, this revelation of His being was finally consummated - through Jesus Christ, the Second Person of the Triune God. "But when the fullness of time came, God sent his Son. He came born of woman and subject to the Law " (Galatians 4:4). In that perfect moment, He came down on earth, humbled Himself by being born on a manger, lived in silence, preached, healed, made miracles, and finally, allowed some rude men to pierce His hands and feet.
After Christ's time, the fullness of God has been unveiled; now we cannot say anymore that God is anonymous to us and that He cannot relate to us (or we to Him). It is He Himself who made the Spirit truly alive. Now God has revealed His face; now Spirit and matter are in harmony. "In him and under him God wanted to unite, when the fullness of time had come, everything in heaven and on earth" (Ephesians 1:10).
And so this is the overwhelming Truth (with a bold and loud capital T) that He has revealed to us. It is so comforting to think that He (in human terms) "went through all the hassle" in order to save a race that is called humanity. This Truth is almost unfathomable, indeed a mysterium fidei (mystery of faith). Only when we let the Spirit lead us where He wills shall we fully understand His mystery; only when we give in to this idea He "incepted" to us shall we find purpose and everlasting joy.
"Faith is the assurance of the things hoped for,the conviction of things not seen." (Hebrews 11:1)
God pre-planted the idea of Himself in the mind of everybody. Whether He did it while we were asleep or while we were in our mother's womb or in some other instance, we cannot know. But the only certain thing is this: the idea of God is deeply planted in our instincts since the dawn of time.
Why is it necessary for God to pre-plant this idea in us? Why are we the only species that possesses this concept of God? Why didn't He plant it in the minds of animals and other organisms? I can think of only one reason: humans have a special purpose to serve, and this "God instinct" serves as our compass in life.
This God instinct must be the guiding concept that humans need to navigate through the complexities of life. It does not mean that humans are just supposed to blindly follow this intuition of God, or the "I feel that God exists, therefore He does" attitude; rather, it pushes man to seek the Truth about God, in order that God may reveal Himself to him.
In reality, we would not have known God if it were not His initiative to reveal Himself to us. The greatness, majesty and glory of God (not to mention His three divine Persons) are too mind-boggling and overwhelming for humans to comprehend; this is one limitation of the small chunk of meat in our heads. Simply put, we cannot fathom Him in all His fullness, even if we combine all our minds together.
But in retrospect, the story did not stop there. He did not intend His children to be forever puzzled whether or not there is a God; He did not intend to surprise us when we die and say "Voila! I do exist!"; He did not leave us orphans by hiding His face to humanity. God is not just a God of all majesty and grandeur; He is, above all, The God of Love. God is a God who reveals himself. And so in order for man to love God, he ought to know Him first. "God is not ashamed to be called their God; indeed, he has prepared a city for them" (Heb 11:16).
It is for this reason that God revealed Himself to man through the course of time, as attested by the heroes of our faith in the old and new testaments. From generation to generation, God made a gradual revelation of Himself. All our brethren in the Old Testament - Adam to Noah, to Abraham, to Isaac and Jacob, to David, to Isaiah, and then on and on to John the Baptizer... laid down and foreshadowed the God, the Messiah who is to come. In the fullness of time, this revelation of His being was finally consummated - through Jesus Christ, the Second Person of the Triune God. "But when the fullness of time came, God sent his Son. He came born of woman and subject to the Law " (Galatians 4:4). In that perfect moment, He came down on earth, humbled Himself by being born on a manger, lived in silence, preached, healed, made miracles, and finally, allowed some rude men to pierce His hands and feet.
After Christ's time, the fullness of God has been unveiled; now we cannot say anymore that God is anonymous to us and that He cannot relate to us (or we to Him). It is He Himself who made the Spirit truly alive. Now God has revealed His face; now Spirit and matter are in harmony. "In him and under him God wanted to unite, when the fullness of time had come, everything in heaven and on earth" (Ephesians 1:10).
And so this is the overwhelming Truth (with a bold and loud capital T) that He has revealed to us. It is so comforting to think that He (in human terms) "went through all the hassle" in order to save a race that is called humanity. This Truth is almost unfathomable, indeed a mysterium fidei (mystery of faith). Only when we let the Spirit lead us where He wills shall we fully understand His mystery; only when we give in to this idea He "incepted" to us shall we find purpose and everlasting joy.
"Faith is the assurance of the things hoped for,the conviction of things not seen." (Hebrews 11:1)
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