Graduation thoughts 1: That inner calling

I have an inner calling. Inner calling means that deep in my heart, God is calling me for this vocation. I can clearly say that this an inner calling because, first, when I do it, I feel that I am perfectly designed for this work. I can do it without sweat, I get positive feedback from people for this work, I do it regularly even if no one pays me. I feel that I am meant to do this for the rest of my life. Second, I feel a profound, joyful bliss when I do it. You can just lock me up in an empty room for a week and have me do it, and I will survive.  Finally, when I do it, I feel that God is at work within me, and that brings about great fulfillment.

Okay, I will tell what "it" is. It is writing. I have been in the choir, in theater plays, in the press, in the field gathering data and in the academic institution, but nothing beats the moment when I am in solace, writing stuff in my notebook or tinkering with my laptop. In college, when I discovered blogs, I had to sign up for one immediately. I even took Journalism as my major during my sophomore year, although that is completely a different story.

When I write, I become friends with words. I have to write a lot about my thoughts, dreams, pains, and especially my fears. I especially highlight fears because I tend to write when I am afraid. I am afraid mostly of the future. During my first semester in UP, I had to write a lot. Also, when I became part of the Execom of the ministry in which I am a member, I wrote a lot about my fears. Writing became my refuge, the comfort zone of such a melancholic as I.

I do not have anything to write about politics, biology and math. I don't have much in my head for academic stuff. Also, my grammar is a little bad. But I do have some few inspirations - my being a Christian, my experiences in the Catholic faith, my personal relationship with Jesus, and the healthy relationships I have with people that are also rooted in Jesus. I do not have much, but I have Jesus! He is everything I have. Therefore I can write about Him.

Writing is my inner calling. And writing for God is my ultimate dream. I feel that God is calling me for this purpose. I even think that my writings in high school were a preparatory step for a greater calling in this field. So great is this calling that wraps my heart. I am enthralled and excited by my dreams. I know that God, in time, will lead me to the right direction where I can fully fulfill this longing.  I am constantly hoping for it.