A song, a guitar, and a walk down memory lane.

"Feels like I took my last step, and my last breath in my life...


... My sun doesn't shine, without you."


Browsing YouTube for a song to play lead me to this song. This song that made me walk down that hurtful, or rather insightful, memory lane. We were acquaintances and we talked casually. I don't know what happened.  You had that certain charm that make girls go gaga. One day I just found myself falling for you. Falling damn hard that I looked forward to seeing you everyday.

This song is memorable to me because I heard you sing it. I showed you my guitar and you asked if it was mine. Then you played that song right on that bench, your voice not a popstarish one but sweet enough to melt my soul. I thought, oh how I wish that song is for me.

"Have you ever seen a flower that never bloomed? Seen a starless night without the moon?
Well that's me without you, so come back and turn my nights into day."

But just like everyone else in my life, you had to go. I had a little idea that you had to. Other than my friends' stories to me, I found no courage to ask your plans. I secretly prayed that you did not have to shift. It was hard knowing that you really wanted to go somewhere else, despite the fact that you were already happy here. Follow your dreams. Follow. Chase it. Don't give up. I wanted to tell you but I couldn't. I had my biases. You know I never wanted you to go.

So you left, and I cried. It was painful that I never had the guts to tell you how I feel. Days, weeks, months passed. The pain lingered for so long. Then just like a natural scar, it healed slowly. On and on to my healing stage until the memory doesn't hurt.

Sometimes I wonder what my reaction will be if I pass you by on the street. Sometimes I still wish that I could talk to you face to face. But of course, those are just wishes. And parts of my wildest dreams.