Bago ko kunin ang DEVC123 (LB Times), I wondered kung bakit ang dami-daming urban legends ng journ students tungkol dito. Mahirap daw, matrabaho, 8 units, kain-oras, etc. etc.
At ngayon tapos na ang Times, napatunayan ko how true those urban legends are. Totoong mahirap mag-LB Times, pero hindi nito matatawaran ang mga lessons at realizations na na-come up ko dahil sa lahat ng mga naranasan ko. Most of all, I have experienced God's grace, in the good and bad times I experienced during the process.
First challenge para sa amin was to bond and work as a team. Marami kami sa batch compared sa mga dating batch. Doble ang bilang namin. We thought everything would be easy kasi maraming gagawa ng trabaho. Pero kahit ganun, mahirap pa rin pala. Nahirapan kaming i-gather ang isa't isa kasi nga marami kami. Minsan, nagkalituhan din kami sa roles. Pero we were still able to manage everything.
Another challenge was to come up with more than fifty thousand to fund for the printing of the paper. Usaping pera na ito, at I am not that well-off to just give my money away for the paper. Syempre, we had fund raisings c/o the business managers. Personally, na-enjoy ko ang mga FRs na yun. Yung caroling, film showing, selling lunch, at yung iba pa. I didn't think they were work; I just enjoyed the majes' presence and the fact that we were happily doing them together. Masaya naman kasama ang mga yan. Weeee!
Medyo "nawalay" ako sa aking pinakamamahal na org (wala naman akong ibang org dito sa UPLB, hehehe). Execom pa naman ako nung time na yun. I regretted the days na hindi ako maka-attend sa Lisieux. Naisip ko na lang, para sa acads naman 'to, sana naiintindihan nila, at sabi nga ni Kuya Aids, aanhin mo pa yung service mo kay Lord kung napapabayaan mo naman yung iba mong commitment? Ay oo nga naman ano. Sana, pagbalik ko, welcome pa rin ako sa kanila.
I felt bad when my article was killed. At aaminin ko, I cried that night. Ilang ulit kasi naming inulit yun ni Ate Chel (my super partner) pero na-scrap pa din. I didn't blame anyone though. Wala namang may kasalanan dun, sadyang di lang pasok yung content ng article sa theme ng paper. I also felt how the majes struggled to fit the article in, pero hindi talaga kaya. Dilemma sa'kin nun kung pano sasabihin sa partner ko na tanggal na yung article namin. Kaya kay Vicky ko na pinasabi. Ate Chel and I worked on another article, the cover story for the magazine. Sobrang pressure yun samin, kasi cover story yun. Ans personally, I never wanted the spotlight in this issue of LB Times. Sapat na sa akin maging isang humble copyeditor and writer.
Hindi ko alam kung maganda ang kinalabasan ng article namin, but what's done is done. It is already published, along with the articles I know the majormates worked so hard for.
A lot of trying times bombarded my semester. Inisip ko kung paano mapagsasabay-sabay lahat, lalo na ang DEVC124 na isang major subject din. Maraming beses akong hindi natulog magdamag para tapusin ang papers. I tried all means to stay awake, at natuto akong uminom ng energy drink. A lot of people warned me about energy drinks though. Masama daw yun sa katawan. Anung magagawa ko, kung yun lang ang paraan para magising ako?
I held on to Him at some time, pero may mga oras ding parang hindi ko Siya maramdaman. Nung mga oras na haggard na ang lahat sa Times, it seemed that He withheld Himself back. Medyo may "pagtatampo" na din ako nun. The restless days seemed endless. Parang pointless lang lahat ng ginagawa ko. Alam ko na minsan ginagawa Niya yun para i-test ang tao, and I was on the losing end. I lost His test.
Yes, I lost His test of trust and patience. I failed Him many times this semester, but this is the wonderful thing: HE IS GOOD. HE WILL FOREVER BE.
He made me experience His saving grace once again. Nagawa ang article. Nagawa ang layout. Pinaulit-ulit ang revisions, pero in God's most perfect time, we were able to give it to the printing press. Nag-launch. Now it is being circulated. We never wanted it to be this late, but who cares now? We did it. We are just so happy we did.
Kamusta naman ang grades ko? I was able to survive everything. Hindi man CS or HR, pero pumasa pa rin. Wala naman akong kebs ngayon kung mataas ang grades ko o hindi, I am all concerned in the learnings I got from all the hours I spent listening to the teachers. At isa pa, hindi ko na uulitin pa ang mga subjects na yun. Most of all, senior standing na ako!
It is wonderful how God led my life to where it is right now. I never planned to be a Journ major, and to study in UP in the first place. All I wanted was to be a student. But now I realize that something is up for me. He planned it. It is something bigger. And hopefully, it is for His greater glory. I hope that through my life (no matter how imprefect it is), His Name will be glorified.
TRUST. FAITH. HOPE. LOVE. God loves you.
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