That perplexing question.

ARGHHH. I CAN'T THINK OF SOMETHING TO BLOG!

The moody writer that I am.

______________________

What will happen in the next three months?

Will I be able to finish everything?

It's up to me.

And to HIM.

When escapism is not an option

I admit I am an escapist. When problems start to arise and I deem I cannot solve them, I run away like hell. I usually literally run away (I mean not exactly literal, I walk not run), like I go somewhere where I could be alone. Or I go to a friend to tell my headaches.

That is what I want to do now. Or at least I think. I want to run away now! Responsibilities start to haunt me. I could crack anytime on the pressure. Three months to go and my thesis should be done. Less than two months to go before the concert. And! My committee's way waaaay behind our schedule. It's my fault. My mishaps are all my fault. I have a lot of debt. Financial debt and time-debt (you know when you say to your friends 'I'll make it up to you'? That's time-debt. I have a lot of something like that promised to my friends). If burdens were food, I'd probably be throwing up.

Usually, people are in their comfort zone and they're ok with that. But right here right now, I admit I am not in my comfort zone due to these responsibilities I'm not really used to. I'm supposed to be OH SHOCKS I GOT DISTRACTED AND FORGOT WHAT I WAS SUPPOSED TO WRITE, SO I GUESS I'LL SKIP THIS PARAGRAPH.

Speaking of comfort zone, whenever I'm being shaken out of my comfort zone, I tend to run away. But this time, I guess escapism is not an option. How could I possibly escape when I have a family waiting for me to get that diploma (THAT DIPLOMA! How dare you make it so hard for me)? How could I run away from an entire organization that needs me because of an essential task I hold in this concert we hold for Him? How about my job as a tutor? Will I ever be able to pay my debts if I don't work? I have a crappy schedule these days.

I am constantly being reminded by the story of Jonah. Jonah was an escapist too, so I guess he's my great great great great great grandfather to the nth level. When God sent him to proclaim judgment to Nineveh (thanks Wiki for helping me), instead of heading straight to the place, he decided to run away. He attempted to flee by ship, but God sent a great storm on the sea. The crews cast Jonah overboard to appease God's wrath (thanks again Wiki) and a gigantic sea creature swallowed him. He stayed inside the creature for three days and three nights, pondering over the runaway from God he attempted.

Am I on the same situation? Mandated by God for a lot of tasks but still resisting to take them. If I were Jonah, three hundred fishes could have swallowed me because of my stubbornness. But even if i want to escape from all of these, I know I can't; so I guess I'll have to pray for the gift of long-suffering.

I wish to take this yoke because I could be totally sure that I won't carry it alone. I wish to take the cross because I love the One who carried it for me before. No matter how far I am from that ultimate desire to feel His pain, I still want to go nearer and nearer until I could almost feel the nails on my hands and feet.

Pray with me that I would never run from my tasks again. Because I could never be an escapist for the rest of my life. Somehow, somewhere, I know I got to face it all. So help me God.

Sakit e. Sulat lang ako para mabawasan yung sakit.

There are people who come to your life once in a while. And after that, they're gone forever.Then there are people who come, go, return, walk away again, and repeat the cycle until you get tired. Still there are people who come into your life and stay for good, this is good.

But the people I'm pissed off right now are those who become one of your best friends, talk to you everyday, share meals with you, text you whatever, and then snob you all of a sudden. He or she does not tell you if he or she's angry or bored with you. You're left wondering what you have done wrong. It's paranoia in your part.

Bottomline, I'm really pissed right now. I don't know how to release this tension. I don't want to cry! For some reasons, I've become tired crying. But then, I want to tell someone. But who's gonna listen? Nobody listens. Nobody is interested to hear anything from me. So I guess I'll just let it all out in the blog.

Why the cold shoulder? Alam ko marami akong pagkukulang. Marami akong hindi kayang gawin. Marami akong pagkakamali. Pero bakit ganito ang trato niya sa akin? Makina ba ako na papansinin niya lang kung may kailangan siya?


Sorry. Wala akong mapagsabihan ng problema ngayon. Melancholic talaga ako. Para na akong sasabog ngayon.


Nangingilid na ang luha ko. Pero bawal umiyak. Sa mundong ito, ang mga umiiyak ay lalong kinakawawa. Once you've shed that tear, you're a loser. I don't want to be one. I want to be strong. Just this one time.


Buti na lang marunong akong magsulat. Kahit paano, may outlet ako. Kung hindi ako nagsulat ngayon, baka kung saan ko nailabas ang tensyon na ito.


Bakit ko nga ba siya poproblemahin kung wala naman siyang pakialam sa mga tao sa paligid niya? Duh, edi wala na lang pakialamanan. Nakakapagod ring magmahal (not in a romantic sense).


Ang Diyos, hindi napapagod magmahal. Mahal pa rin Niya ako kahit ano pang kasamaang ginawa at gagawin ko. Pero tao lang ako. Gustuhin ko mang gayahin ang Diyos sa wagas Niyang pagmamahal, mukhang hindi ko pa kaya yung talagang magmahal nang walang hinihinging kapalit (again, not in a romantic sense). Pwede bang tumigil na muna sa pagmamahal? Pwede bang mag- time out sa pagkalinga at pag-intindi ng kapwa? Pagod na kasi ako. Wala namang pagmamahal na bumabalik. Bigay lang ako ng bigay. Eh ako, kailan ko kaya mararamdaman na mahal rin ako ng mga taong mahal ko?


Ano kayang nararamdaman ni Hesus kapag nasasaktan ko Siya? Ako nga ngayon, wasak na. Siya pa kaya? Sa tuwing idedeny Siya ng mga tao? Sa tuwing lalayo sila sa Diyos?


Buti na lang, may nag-iisa na lang na totoong nagmamahal sa akin. Buti na lang nandyan Ka. Thank you for keeping my sanity. Kahit i-reject ako ng mga tao, ayos lang basta alam kong namatay Ka para sa akin sa krus. Ok na ako basta andyan Ka. Yun nga lang, nasaktan ako. Pero ayos lang, try ko na ring maging okey.

Ang sakit. Nasasaktan ako.

Galing sa Facebook:

Repost: I saw this old woman sitting by herself yesterday at the corner of buendia and roxas blvd yesterday. Surprised to see a bond paper pinned in front and back of her dress with a picture of a missing old man, i asked her about it and she said it is her husband who has been missing for two weeks now. I was touched by her integrity and pained to see her looking for him in that manner so i decided to help her too. I asked permission to post her picture here in fb to be shared by others as help for finding Mr. Luis Matias.

Lolo Matias is 78 years old, he displays childish behaviour so do coax him if found and restrain him from leaving ur sight. 
Call any of these numbers immediately 09497763122/ 09326095491 / 09474196145, he lives in #164 Dolores St. Pasay City Brgy 66 Zone 08

Do share this around please at sana mahanap agad si Lolo Luis Matias!




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Durog ang puso ko pagkakita sa litratong ito. Nalulungkot ako para kay Lola. Nasasaktan ako. Kung may pwede lang akong gawin, nagawa ko na sana. Nasuyod ko sana ang buong mundo. Nakapagtanong sana ako sa lahat ng tao. Pero hindi. Wala akong magawa para ibsan ang kalungkutan ni Lola. Ipagpapasa-Diyos ko na lang ang paghahanap kay Lolo.


Bakit hinayaan ito ng Diyos? Mahal na mahal ni Lola si Lolo. Bakit Niya pinaghiwalay ang dalawa? Bakit may ganitong paghihirap ang matanda? Bakit may ganitong krus? Pasensiya na kung matanong. Ang sakit kasi.


Wala na akong magagawa, kundi ang ipagdasal sila.

Thoughts on finding my one true love. Hihihi.

If I write about you, that means I am thinking of you. Or it could be that I am starting to like you. Or I am infatuated to you. Or the worst of all, I might be in love with you.

But the thing is, this blog is not about you. So please be reminded that I am not writing about you. I am writing this blog and this blog is about me.

I am turning twenty-one this December. No boyfriend since birth. Yes! No man has held my hand for real (but a few had held it before and I call it flirting. :P) But yeah, seriously I haven't had a boyfriend yet. A real boyfriend.

When I meet someone who is the right guy for me, I want him to be a responsible man. I want him to have a stable job, good looks (optional) and a caring heart. Of course, I also want him to have the same ideologies as I fight for. Am I asking for too much? I hope not.

If I would ever settle for a guy, I'd settle for the best I could find, of course. I do not mean he has to be perfect. But at least he must have the qualities of a good potential life partner (whoa!).

I read a book by Bo Sanchez entitled "How to Find Your One True Love." Not that I'm desperate to find mine, but I'd love to hear some good advice from Mr. Sanchez himself, if ever my time comes. :) According to him, guys tend to be easily attracted by girls with long hair. Guess what? The next day, I cut my hair. Haha. Well, I don't think I am already running out of time to get a guy. Besides, I want to have a new look (and yes, get rid of buying too much shampoo).

I don't feel that right now is my time to find a love of my own. Besides being quite young, I have other business to deal with right now. My thesis is saying hello to me every single waking moment. My Japanese students are waiting for Tutor Michay to discuss an article with them. I have several musical pieces to practice and an entire concert to prepare. And after I graduate, I'd probably be hunting for a job amidst a hundred thousand other graduates.

Most of all, I don't think I feel incomplete - the love of the Good Lord is enough to fill my heart ever-thirsty for an unconditional love.

So to my one true love (if ever you really exist), hang in there. We'll meet each other soon,in His most perfect time. =)

Don't give up on me.

Yes, I will do my best to finish this blog even if:

a.) it's 12:30 in the morning;

b.) I am dead tired;

c.) a jukebox song is playing over and over on my background; and

d.) I know in my conscience that I need to sleep early.

But I do miss this activity of blogging. It seems to me that I am incomplete if I do not blog for a long time. Blogging gives me a time to pause, reflect and plan the next things I will do. Yes, it helps me pray too.

My issue right now is this: why do I feel so lost right now? I know I found a place in this world already. I am a GRADUATING student (re-emphasize graduating). I am working on my thesis right now. I have a part-time job. I will sing for a concert on Feb. I am part of the production committee of that concert. I am a daughter, a sister, a friend, a housemate, a batchmate. Why the avalanche of commitments? Can I just disappear now?

But I know I should not falter. Somehow, deep in my heart I know that God has destined me to be busy right now. I think He wants to shake off all the comforts I felt last semester. It is like, it's time to act now, Mich!!!

I have a habit of looking for God in the minutest of things. With all these hassles going on in my fully-booked schedule, how do I do that? I guess I will have to open my eyes wider. Ha ha.

Help me, Lord. The rope I am holding on to might snap. I might trip and fall. I might wander far from You again. Please don't leave me alone. Don't give up on me yet.

On the sin of pride.

Sorry, I feel like being preachy today. I am no theologist nor religious, but I am 'proud' (not in a bad sense) to realize that in a certain level, I have figured out the irony of pride. Yes, it is too ironic it even seems confusing to the rational mind.

I thought pride only meant feeling too superior to others. I thought it only meant merely failing to submit to others' authority when necessary. In a nutshell, those may be true but pride is a complex concept and is much, much more than that.

Any thought that roots from extreme love of the self is pride. Yes, superiority complex is pride. That feeling that you are always 'right' is pride. When you think that no one should boss you around. When you insist your opinions and shun down others'. When most of the time, you think your 'ego' is being shaken (hey, I also realized that 'ego' is such a proud concept. At the same time I believe that much of it is imaginary). Those self-centered thinking results from the tendency of the pride of our heart.

But do you know that inferiority complex is pride too? Feeling ashamed to face other people because of the fear of being ridiculed. Being restrained in your comfort zone because of the fear of commiting a mistake. Those kinds of fear come from pride. We feel that kind of fear because we tend to defend ourselves from harm. Part of our human nature is to be inclined to self-preservation and perpetuation.

But anything that roots from our excessive self-love is already pride. Even the mere fact that we feel that we are humble enough is a sure sign of pride. This is the most ironic part. Those who feel that they are already good and humble are the persons infected with that dangerous pride. They are likened to the pharisees and scribes who criticized Jesus but failed to recognized their rotten selves.

On the other hand, admitting that you are proud actually removes your pride, strip by strip, brick by brick. Ironic, eh? The publican who recognized that he is a sinner was highly favored by God. But woe to the clergy in Jesus' time who were self-rightous and contented of themselves.

There are other indicators of pride but I cannot exhaust all. It is up to our judgment and discernment.

Mary was the perfect example of total humility. In spite of her nothingness (in terms of worldly matters, of course), she was the one chosen to be mother of the Messiah. If she had superiority complex, she would have proudly accepted the deal because she would think she was the rightest person worthy of Christ. That kind of thinking would be so unright, even if she is indeed the rightest person. If Mary had inferiority complex, she would not have accepted it. She would think of what others would say because she was unworthy. If that were so, then mankind is doomed.

But Mary accepted the deal as a lowly servant of the Lord. She made her Fiat not out of any feeling of superiority nor 'what-would-they-say-if-I-didn't-follow' thinking, but out of perfect resignation to the will of God.

May we learn true humility from the lowly and glorious life of Mary. :)

What was I doing in Buendia?

What was I doing in Buendia?

Oh, nothing. I just rode the bus LRT station bound in Buendia. I was supposed to ride the MRT in Magallanes (first stop after SLEX if you're from Los Banos).

The THING is, I slept during the entire trip. I went on a comatose. And when I woke up, poof. It became Koko Crunch. We passed by Magallanes already. I was in Buendia.

I was like ??? and O.o? I was speechless. I am so proud of myself for sleeping like there was no tomorrow. So I rode a jeepney back to Guadalupe so I could get back at the MRT.

What's happening to my sleeping pattern? How will I get myself back to normal? Oh Lord, help me on this. T.T

(Random thoughts only. Sorry if this is a deviant post.)

A date with God: the Laiya experience

At Laiya, Batangas with Aiko, Kat, Fr. Thor, Mich and Jam

Last Monday was the time of my life. My sisters and I had a 24-hour vacation in White Cove Beach Resort at Laiya, Batangas. All the students were frantic at this time; it was finals week. But I managed to finished my thesis proposal by Sunday so that I could go with them. It was an all-expense paid trip to Laiya, thanks to Father Thor (it was his birthday that Sunday, so we was treating everyone else).

I could not imagine that this vacation would be a spiritual activity for me. I only wanted to jeer away from the stress and noise of UPLB. I mean, the lack of solitude. A "time for myself" was my drama. I wanted to reflect on the happenings in my life right now because I've been exhausting myself for weeks now in editing my thesis.

Honestly, I've seen several greater places than Laiya. I have even seen white sand and oh-so-green mountains. But Laiya reminded me that the world (and the Philippines in particular) is indeed beautiful; we just need to open our eyes wide enough.

See, even the shells are awesome.

The wind that gently howled on my cheek. It was like a kiss from the Lord. The mountains that surrounded the bay. They were like picture frames of His goodness. The coolness of the rain that dampened my skin was like a shower of His blessings to me. The sand that touched my bare feet was His touch, to remind me that I walk along His path of grace.

It was like the whole universe was talking to me: shouting out in high decibels that my God is a big GOD. He created all these magnificent things. He was so good a Lord that He let me experience all this goodness.

When we were brought via boat to the middle of the sea for snorkling, I was in deep joy! I was enthralled with all that I saw. The fishes, all alive and colorful. They eat the bread in my hand! I even saw Dory (Regal Blue Tang Fish). Lots of Dories. The corals. The blue water. Underwater was like a different city, a different world. My magnificent God has done all these. Amazing.

We didn't have an underwater camera, so this is all I can share.

We went around taking lots and lots of pictures. We slept in a very comfortable room. We ate delicious sinigang and grilled pork. While they were sleeping, I roamed around and then sat by the shore, just pondering all the wonderful things I saw.

It was like God was whispering to me, "This is how much I love you, My child."

It was a personal retreat.

I could not ever forget this wonderful experience. Thank you my sisters! Thank you Father Thor, for making this possible! I owe my sanity to you (haha).

My Lord and my God, You have manifested Your goodness once more, and I cannot contain it. This world and everything in it is Your handwork. My life is Your craft, and I offer it back to You! Gloria in excelsis Deo!

(More photos in our facebook profile.)

I will leave with a sweet smile on my face.

In silence

I woke up and rushed through the day
And everything was so intense
I never got the chance to say
That I need a little silence

I had a  lot of work to do
And walked around like everyone
But I never did spare myself
A moment of silence, just one

I tried to fit in all my tasks
I moved briskly, made it all quick
Thought I never needed silence
But deep inside, I felt so sick.

I almost thought I'm superman
But no one noticed how I bleed
Oh! How will I ever find out
That silence is all that I need

I paused and sought within myself
Ran away from the noisy world
I prayed and found my inner peace
For in silence, I found the Lord

The deviant post that wasn't (and how I love being weak)

Last May I posted something here, this blog about me falling apart and all those stuff. You know, this was the time when I couldn't handle the pressure anymore. Of course I got by, although now I am facing the same problem, I guess (much more severe this time).

Writing is my thing. And I vowed that this blogsite should glorify God; this is the purpose of this blog. So I thought it was a deviant post since it was all a blurt out of worries, frustrations, and not-so-good feelings. I do it from time to time when I feel so tired.

Somehow, I realized that it wasn't a deviant post at all. Why, wouldn't I glorify God if I am weak and lost? I gave it all up and I let the Lord carry my yoke for  this matter.

When I am weak, I am strong (cf. 2 Cor. 12:10). Yes, I let Him manifest His glory. Because when I am weak, that is the best time when I need Him. And He will come to the rescue. And I will make it. Then next challenges will come. I will be strong at some point then weak in most. Then He will get me up on my feet again.

Oh, how I love this vicious cycle.

Whatacomplexworld.

Complexities. Ah, I've been bombarded with complex thoughts since I chose this jungle-like academe and stayed here for four years and more, because I seemed to have lost in the jungle's confusing maze. Yes, yes, everything is so confusing here: the ideolologies contradict each other; the people you aren't sure if their faces are true, even their genders. Sometimes I wished I were just a cat or something else, because as a complete and normal human being the complex ideas dig my head like hell and I think I just want to jump off a cliff. Or maybe it is me? I think of complex thoughts when things could otherwise be less complicated had I chosen not to think of every thing my mind can conceive given this, and that, and had I not thought of every pro and con and intervening variables of everything I encounter. Oh yeah, I know it seems a good thing to be critical but if people overdo it, it would be chaotic for our minds and for the society in general because our tendency would be to weigh everything even when weighing is not necessary for the situation at all. We all look for proofs of existence of many, many things that we cannot explain at the moment, like ghosts, and aliens, and gods or savior and things that are unseen and unperceived by our five oh so limiting senses. If we haven't seen the proof yet then what do we do? We look for everywhere in the world for the proof and everything seems to rotate into the term 'proof',' because if it has no proof then it doesn't exist. Isn't it complex enough, how people think this way? What do we do to the proof when it shows up? If it does not show up then does it mean that that something we believe in is not true at all? I do not want to think of it that way. So if this world is this complex then I will just accept it as it is. Someday I believe that everything will be explained to me, by my mom or dad or angel or something else that is unseen whether you believe it or not. For now let us just accept that the world is such as complex and unending dilemma of what to do with your existence, that is if you believe you truly exist.

(the most confusing blog I have ever written, and I intended it)

And another.

Here's another word cloud, again from this blog.

Word Cloud for my blogs

This is the word cloud for this blog. Hehe. :)

My zealous friend.

(I delivered this reflection last night at the ComRep Vigil in LBDH. Gloria in excelsis Deo!)

_________________________________________________

ZEALOUS FRIEND. Ako po si Mich. Senior Devcom student from UPLB. Thesis na lang ang nagpapatagal sa akin sa university. Noong March pa sana ako napagraduate ng UP kaya lang tumagal dahil hindi pa tapos ang thesis. Kaya I’m still here at nakakasama nyo pang magvigil ngayon. Anyway, I am going to share with you some insights on how Jesus has been a zealous friend to me.

Iniisip siguro ng marami na ang ganda ganda ng relationship ko with God. Bilang isang member ng UPLB Lisieux Music Ministry at isang taong simbahan, palagi akong makikita sa simbahan. Minsan nagsisimba, madalas umaattend ng  activities ng Lisyu, at madalas tumatambay lang naghahanap ng ka-lunch. Akala yata nila banal ako, lalo na ng mga kasama ko sa devcom.

Ang hindi alam ng marami, I have this sort of love-hate relationship with God. Hindi ako palaging high na high. “O Lord, thank you so much. You are so great. I love You so!” hindi ko yan palaging nasasambit. To tell you honestly, minsan ko lang yan nasasabi, puno pa ng doubts. Nakwento ko na ito sa ilan sa atin. Ang buhay ko noon ay no sweat. Pinalaki ako nang hindi pinagdadanas ng hirap, kahit gumawa ng household chores. Parang prinsesa lang talaga ako sa bahay, spoiled na spoiled. Kaya gagawa man ako ng chores, yung magagaan lang gaya ng pagwawalis o pag-urong ng sampay.

When I was “initiated” to the jungle-like life of college in UPLB, I was bombarded. Mahirap pala ang tunay na buhay. Hindi ako sanay nang nahihirapan, kaya lahat ng paghihirap ay tinake ko against me and against Him. Feeling ko galit sa akin ang Diyos. Everytime I experienced a difficulty, I would turn to God and say “Parusa mo ba ‘to sa mga kasalanan ko?” “Pinagsisilbihan naman Kita ah, eto pa ba ang igaganti Mo? Bakit ako?” Ang kapal lang noh? Pero kapag naman ok na, magsosorry naman ako. “Lord, I did not mean what I said. You know me naman, nakakapagsabi ng mga salitang wala sa loob ko. Sorry Lord.” As I told you, I have a love-hate relationship with God.

Give me roses, I would gladly accept them, praise God and thank Him. Give me thorns, I would readily despise them and question God why He would want to give me those thorns. There came a point when I totally rejected His cross. Out and out sinabi ko yun sa Kanya. “No, Lord. I don’t accept the cross. I am rejecting it. Take it away from me.”

Na-realize ko kung gaano yung gravity ng sinabi ko na yun. Para ko na ring ni-reject si Lord. Kasi hindi mapaghihiwalay si Hesus at ang krus. If I reject the cross, I reject Christ. Anyway, na-confess ko na yun at alam ko napatawad na ako ng Diyos. After that incident, okey na ulit kami. As I’ve said, it’s a love-hate relationship I have with God. Hindi ko naman talaga “hate” and Diyos, nase-shake lang talaga ako ng mga pagsubok sa buhay.

Pero kung love / hate man ang nararamdaman ko towards God, ako lang yun. Dahil Siya, alam kong hindi nagbabago. Zealous friend nga. Hindi lang basta friend eh, zealous pa. So passionate, so longing, so real. I could feel how He longs to be my friend. Nararamdaman ko yung saya Niya sa tuwing babalik ako sa Kanya, sa tuwing magsosorry ako, sa tuwing pupunta ako sa confession. Nararamdaman ko rin yung lungkot Niya sa tuwing tatalikod ako sa Kanya. Sa tuwing magtatanong ako ng “Bakit ako na naman Lord?” at lalo sa tuwing irereject ko Siya. Naiimagine ko yung lungkot sa mga mata Niya, at sa totoo lang masakit din, because of course I do love Christ, but this love is so frail.

Huling hirit. Dati nagde-daydream ako. May lalaki daw na mamamatay for me. Iba-ibang scenario. Kunwari mababaril daw ako tapos haharangan niya yung bala tapos siya yung mababaril. Tapos habang duguan, sasabihin niya daw that he loves me so much. Basta, how I loved the idea that someone would feel so great a love for me he would be willing to die for me. Now I realized that I need not to dream of it, it actually happened! Two thousand years ago pa. Hindi ko pa man hinihiling, naganap na. Ang kaibahan lang, hindi Niya hiniling na mahalin ko rin Siya. Basta nagmamahal Siya, whatever it takes. Tapos yung taong yon, mahal Niya pa rin yung mga taong nagpako sa Kanya. I imagine the pain on His head brought by the crown of thorns. Dapat sakin yon, kasi ako naman yung nagkasala. Pero inangkin Niya, best friend ko daw kasi Siya at best friend Niya ako. Pero paano ako magiging best friend sa Kanya kung ako mismo ang may hawak ng martilyo? Ako yung magdidiin ng pako sa mga palad Niya. At araw-araw ko yung gagawin dahil araw-araw ko Siyang ipinapako sa krus dahil sa mga kasalanan ko… but the blood He will shed out, will be for my salvation. Ironic. Truly ironic, almost impossible to understand. This is the mystery of the love of God. This is the best thing about Him – He is so selfless, so loving. He is the best best friend one could ever have.

Catching up 1: Singing contest

Remember my blog last June? I said I would catch up on the blog. But since I was so so busy in the previous days (and still busy right now), I just remembered to write about it now.

This June is supposed to be my last semester in UPLB. I am supposed to be graduating (I'm still keeping my fingers crossed). One week after the resume of classes, i joined a singing contest together with three of my orgmates.

It was my first time to join such a contest. You know, I am not really that exceptional when it comes to singing but since I badly needed money that time, I had no choice but to risk my dignity (haha).

It was not easy for me to choose a song. i had a lot of songs in mind but it seemed to me that nothing fits my alto-chest tone-when it comes to pop songs voice. In the choir I sing as a soprano, but the choir is a totally different world i cannot use the technique I know for this contest.

So there. I decided to sing a song by Sisqo. No, I chose the version of Freestyle. It is much shorter and I am more familiar to it.

When I was in the backstage, I was so nervous! Of course, being a first-timer, i didn't know how to sing in front of people in a contest. The other contestants were so great! But when it was time for me to sing, I just decided to offer it to God and just do my best.

It was a wonderful experience! I really imagined God in the audience watching and me and smiling at me. I imagined angels watching, too. What I had in mind while performing was "This voice is what You gave me, and now I'm offering it back to You!"

When the top 5 was announced, I wasn't included. But it was okay! Way way fine. I was humbled even though I did not win anything.

While walking home with my orgmates (who were so supportive I was touched), someone from them was talking to me.

"Sayang yung cash prize. Wala na tuloy akong pang-tuition," I said.

"Magkano ba kailangan mo?"

"Mga 5k sana. Pambayad ng loan at pang-reg."

"Papahiramin na lang kita. Sayang naman kung di ka makaka-reg dahil lang dun."

Miracles happen. :)

We will never be defeated :)

"The Church has ever proved indestructible. Her persecutors have failed to destroy her; in fact, it was during times of persecution that the Church grew more and more; while the persecutors themselves, and those whom the Church would destroy, are the very ones who came to nothing. . . .Again, errors have assailed her; but in fact, the greater the number of errors that have arisen, the more has the truth been made manifest. . . . Nor has the Church failed before the assaults of demons: for she is like a tower of refuge to all who fight against the Devil."

--St. Thomas Aquinas

Bakit tao ka at hindi ibon

Isang araw, kinainggitan ko ang mga ibon.

Lipad lang kasi sila ng lipad. Wala silang problema. Walang mabigat na pinapasan. Walang 18 units at hindi na kailangang pumasok sa eskwelahan. Walang thesis na kailangang intindihin. Hindi na kailangang mamroblema sa pera. Hindi na kailangang kumita ng pera! Kontento na sa kung anong bigay na pagkain ng Maykapal. Hay. Sarap ng buhay.

Hindi sila nasasaktan. Hindi sila nalulungkot. Walaaaang ka-proble-problema.

Eh ang tao? Gigising sa araw-araw, nangangamba kung may pera pang pambili ng pagkain. Nagpaplano sa thesis na ikamamatay muna ng katawan at isipan bago matapos. Ipapasa mo na lang ang thesis, mava-virusan pa. Lolokohin ng kung sinu-sino. May mangsa-snatch ng bag. Puro misfortunes ang tao kumpara sa ibon.

Nakakainis. Parang ang unfair naman ng buhay. Bakit ang mga hayop, ang tatahimik lang pero nabubuhay sila ng ganoon lang? Di kaya sana naging ibon na lang ako?

Kung bibigyan ng pagkakataon na maging ibon ka na lang, papayag ka ba? Para lang maka-iwas ka sa mga problema at inconveniences ng buhay? Parang magandang deal yon noh.

Pero alam ko ang isasagot mo. Ganyan din ang sagot ko.

Una, tayo ang center of God's creation. We are dominion to the plants, animals, and all creatures of God. Ibig sabihin, tayo ang pinakamahalagang nilikha. Tayo ang favorite. Tayo ang apple of the eye (cf. Psalm 17:8).

Isipin mo, ginawa muna ng Diyos ang lahat ng kailangan natin bago Niya tayo ginawa. Ang liwanag, ang mga bituin, ang araw, ang tubig, lupa, hayop, halaman. Ibig sabihin, pinaghandaan na Niya tayo. Para sa atin ang lahat ng ito! Kaya special tayo.

Pangalawa, andami naman nating mami-miss sa buhay kung sakaling naging ibon tayo at hindi tao. Hindi ka maipapanganak. Kung ibon ka, maha-'hatch' ka lang galing sa itlog. Itlog na ang bagong 'bahay-bata.' Pwede kang basta na lang iwan sa kalsada, edi kawawa ka naman, ni hindi mo kilala ang mga magulang mo. Masahol ka pa sa inabort. Pag-inincubator ka naman, baka maging balut ka lang. Good luck.

Mahihirapan ka ding makipag-socialize sa kapwa mo ibon dahil magkakamukha lang kayo. Halos pare-pareho lang ang features ng mukha niyo kaya kailangan nyong lahat ng nametag. Tapos, pano ka magsusulat ng nametag eh wala ka namang kamay? Pantuka lang meron ka. Tukain mo yung tinta tas saka ka magsulat gamit ang beak mo. Good luck.

Hindi rin kayo makakapag-usap ng mga kapwa mo ibon ng gaya sa tao. Wala kayong masasabi kundi tweet tweet. Puro na kayo "tweet-er", literally. Hindi na kayo makakapag-tongue twister dahil wala naman kayong tongue in the first place. Hindi na kayo makakapagsabi ng supercalifragilisticcoxpialidocious. Good luck.

Puro kalokohan ang sinasabi ko. Pero seriously... Pinagpala ka dahil isa kang tao.

Kung hindi ka tao, hindi mo makikilala ang mga magulang mo ngayon. Hindi mo mararamdaman kung paano ka buhatin ng tatay mo noong maliit ka pa. Hindi mo matitikman ang luto ng nanay mo.

Kung hindi ka tao, walang pangarap. Walang kilig. Walang ngiti. Walang konsensiya.

Walang pananampalataya. Walang pag-asa. Walang pagmamahal na handang ialay ang sarili para sa isang kaibigan.

Kung hindi ka tao, hindi mo Siya makikilala. Ang Taong hari na pero piniling ipanganak sa sabsaban.

Ang Taong pinakamatalino ngunit piniling maging isang abang manggagawa sa mahabang panahon.

Ang Taong malinis ngunit piniling makipagkaibigan sa mga makasalanan.

Ang Taong dapat pagsilbihan ngunit piniling hugasan ang paa ng Kanyang mga tagasilbi.

At ang Taong hinampas, hinamak at pinagtawanan na nga, nagmamahal pa.

Sinadya Niya ang lahat. Gusto ka Niyang mabuhay. Bilang TAO.

Sundin mo ang tawag Niya.

Yan ang dahilan kaya tao ka at hindi ibon.

Panginoon, salamat sa buhay na ito. Mararanasan ko na naman ang pagmamahal Mo.

Pagpalain ang Diyos. Tweet tweet!

There's a lot of catching up I need to do.

I really need to catch up with the blog. I've been very busy with acads and other stuff, and now I think I will have ample time writing. Plus the fact that I am living with my brothers (i'm their adopted sister-achay, hehe) in this apartment and they leave their laptops and I am all alone and I think of nothing but to write, (aside from cleaning the house, achay nga ako diba).

Happenings I'd blog later: (I listed them in case I forget)

1. The singing contest I joined a few weeks ago (I was supposed to blog only about the auditions; I never thought I would make it to the finals);

2. My struggle finishing my thesis proposal; and

3. That fateful day when I ALMOST lost my thesis file due to some sick virus (mind you, I didn't have any back-up files!)

For now, I would clean the house. Achay mode again. Hehe. Catch ya later!

Simple reasons why the RH Bill should be opposed (repost)

This is a repost from another repost from fightrhbill.blogspot.com, in the efforts of making COMMON SENSE more common. :) NO TO RH BILL!

________________________________________________

Unheard of reasons why I am against the RH Bill

by "Trish" of "Eat My Chalk Dust"

Conversations with pro-RH and watching debates on TV made me realize these new reasons why I’m against the RH Bill:

1) It condones negligent parents by saying: “Parents are irresponsible. Who else will teach the children on sex? The Government needs to intervene.”

2) It also condones corruption in government: “Alam naman nating mahirap pugsain ang corruption sa Pilipinas. When else will we start helping the poor?”

3) It demeans the ability of the poor to practice discipline in NFP. “Natural doesn’t always seem to work for the very poor that’s why they have 6-11 children ” – Karen Davila

4) For the sake of choice, the pro-RH wants the poor to choose between natural and Group 1 carcinogens (contraceptive pills), and provide the latter for free.

5) The pro-RH are “not aware” of the abortifacient nature of contraceptive pills. Their comment? “In my opinion, they are not abortifacients.” Now medicine has become a matter of opinion. Add to that the opinion on where life begins.

6) The pro-RH will always downplay the obvious connection of contraception and abortion as if they are two different advocacies in the real pro-life stand. They will not answer the question of Plan B if contraception fails.

7) Rep. Hontiveros’ idea of sex education is contradicting: A – bstinence, B-e monogamous, and C-ontraception. Why put abstinence and contraception together? Why A if there is C? Why C if there is A?

8 ) Carlos Celdran is one name-calling pro-RH. No need to elaborate. (Rep. Hontiveros needs to tame him down.)

9) The pro-RH camp would last resort to destroying the person (and the Church) in their defense. These politicians do not know how to engage in a sustained reasonable debate. Can they just stick to the issue?

On NFP.

Pro-RH: “If it is so great, then why hasn’t the church teach about it with vigor like what they’re screaming about it now?”

Me: “Naku, you put in the Church na into our discussion. I wanted to keep the Church out of it. Now that you mentioned it, let’s put the Church in.”

Pro-RH: “My bad. I thought your linking it to there stand [sic].”

10) “Iba ang moralidad niyo sa moralidad ko.” – Dr. Sylvia Caludio. Aba! Then why should we let you impose your morality that contraception and abortion are okay on us? Dr. Claudio by the way is the chairman of WGNRR, an organization that supports abortion. “[Dr. Claudio] and her org can promote it all she wants. I don’t, and will not start advocating it.” – Ms. Lea Salonga.

11) The RH Bill is filed under the Commission on Population and Development. But they push on health benefits. It should then be files under Health, di ba? I smell something fishy.

Why I support the Catholic Church in its fight against the RH Bill:

1) The Church believes that the poor are human persons who are capable of practicing discipline.

2) She has been consistent in her arguments against the RH Bill. There is no need for strategy changes.

3) They protect the real essence of the woman, her uterus, by keeping the dangerous pills from destroying it.

4) The Church does help save the women’s lives by not promoting Group 1 carcinogens (e.g. contraceptive pills).

5) She supports PNoy’s slogan: “Kung walang corrupt, walang mahirap.”

6) The pronoun for the Catholic Church is actually female.

7) The Church has always been pro-poor: Caritas. Visit the website, you’ll see the programs for the poor there. Some Catholics are active also in helping the poor: Gawad Kalinga.

A brief message for those who claim themselves to be Catholics but are pro-RH: Have you read the Catechism of the Catholic Church? For sure, you haven’t. I suggest you read it. It’s very reasonable. It is “faith seeking understanding.” Then, and only then, can we have a decent discussion involving the Church without destroying its credibility.

I am entitled to my own realizations, and these are just based on my experiences. For sure there are exceptions to these instances. When I sound like I am generalizing, I am only referring to the people I had been exposed to.

My blog, my rules. For a change, comments section will only be dedicated to understanding the side of those against the RH Bill. This blog will be dedicated to fully understanding the Anti-RH Bill side. I expect questions about and supporting facts for the Anti-RH stand in the comments section. Any comment posted that doesn’t follow the rules will not be posted.

Cheers!

Why am I constipated?

Because of:

a. the coke float?

b. the DQ double fudge latte?

c. the kwekwek?

d. the siomai?

e. or because of the fact that I ate them all today?

PS. Sorry God, I know I've been a glutton. Sarrry. :/

Sorry, this is a deviant post.

A few years ago, I would cry to my friends whenever I had trials.

I would weep. Wail. Throw stuff (such as tissue or dried leaf, anything that's soft so it won't damage anything). Cry myself to sleep. Yes, that was how childish I was.

But now, I have changed. As I grew older, I learned to keep it all inside.

But I also learned another thing: write about it to ease my feelings. And for others to learn something from it.

I could only explicitly kwento the whole details to my long trusted friends.

Now the reason why I am writing now is to let it all out again. Yes, I've been struggling with life these past few days. Money is hard. Relationships are stained. Even my relationship with Him. With the One I used to earnestly write about.

I cannot relay the entire situation here. My life is not supposed to be an open book. Besides, I intended this blogsite to express my love for God and my desire for everyone to know Him. This site cannot be my diary.

But for a change, please bear with me; I just don't know where on earth could I release it all.

I WANT TO DIE. I want all my problems to end.

But of course, that won't happen. I will never ever take my life. I do not have the right.

So I leave it up to Him. Lord, I know my trust in You is so weak and my love is so frail. But please help me. Please. I cannot handle this anymore.

In the end, may His Name be glorified. Et nunc, et semper, in secula seculorum! Amen!

Bakit ang kulit ko?

You might ask - Bakit ang kulit ko? Bakit puro tungkol naman sa Diyos itong pinopost ko? Couldn't I get a life?

Pero simple lang din ang sagot ko diyan - I could only live my life if and only if I USE MY WRITING TO GLORIFY HIM.

Ok na tayo? Salamat. :P

God's Roles

Ano ang role ng Diyos sa buhay mo? Paano mo Siya tinitingnan?

ROBOT. May mga tao na kung utusan ang Diyos para siyang robot. Lahat na lang gustong ipagawa sa Kanya, tapos wala namang effort na nanggagaling sa sarili. Ganito ang kadalasang dasal nila: “Panginoon, si nanay maysakit, alagaan Mo. Si tatay pagalingin Mo ang rayuma. Si kuya, patigilin Mo na sa pag-inom. Si ate sana di na ako bungangaan. Si bantay may garapata, nawa’y maalis. May ipis po, pakipatay.” Aba! Lahat na lang, iniasa sa Diyos tapos hindi naman ginagawa ang part niya. Pwede naman niya sigurong paliguan yung aso para maalis ang garapata, diba?

Hindi naman masamang umasa sa Diyos. Sino pa ba ang sasandalan mo? Pero after mong magpagawa ng mga bagay-bagay sa Kanya, make sure na ginagawa mo pa rin ang iyong mga tungkulin sa abot ng makakaya mo. Luma na, pero tama pa ring “Do your best and God will do the rest.” Kapag ginamit mo sa mabuti ang iyong mga kakayahan, Siya na mismo ang tatapos ng mga hindi mo kaya!

SANTA CLAUS. Halos kapareho lang ito nung una, pero imbes na pagpapagawa, paghingi ng paghingi sa Diyos ang moda ng mga taong ito. “Panginoon, bigyan Mo po ako ng boyfriend na gwapo. Bigyan mo rin ako ng mataas na sweldo. Gusto ko rin ng PSP, itouch, cellphone na triple sim, trip to Europe for two at masarap na hapunan mamayang gabi. Gusto ko ring maging billionaire, so freakin’ bad.” Naku, ginawa nang wishlist si Lord. Anong feeling mo, birthday mo everyday?

Pero totoo namang generous ang Panginoon. In fact, mas galante Siya kay Santa. Hindi lang pisikal na pangangailangan mo ang ibinigay Niya, pati buhay Niya. Indeed, God is not generous; He is Generosity.

Wala namang masama sa paghingi sa Kanya. In fact, mabuti yon dahil sa Kanya naman talaga nanggagaling ang lahat ng grasya. Pero pangit naman yung puro hingi na lang ang dinadasal mo. Never forget to thank Him! Even if you got nothing, thank Him for that nothing. Acknowledge Him in all times, in all places, at all circumstances.

GRUMPY OLD MAN. May mga tao namang tinitingnan ang Diyos na parang matandang laging galit. Hiyang hiya sa sariling pagkukulang, kapintasan at kasalanan, at nahihiya nang harapin ang Diyos dahil dito. Ganito ang dasal nila: “Panginoon, ako’y nagkasala. Napakarumi ko. Wala akong kwenta, hindi ko sinunod ang utos Mo. Hindi na yata ako magbabago. Galit Ka na sa akin at ihahagis Mo na ako sa walang hanggang apoy.” Kawawang kaluluwa, ni hindi pa nga natatanong ang Diyos kung talagang ihinahagis Siya sa walang hanggang apoy eh nag-assume na.

Ang Diyos ay hindi isang grumpy na matandang iko-kondena ka sa mga kasalanan mo. Hindi Niya inililista ang mga kasalanan mo tapos “Lagot sa Akin ito!” On the contrary, yayakapin ka pa Niya ng buong higpit, nagagalak na nagsisisi ka at handang magbago. Tunay na walang hanggan ang pagpapatawad ng Diyos. Alam mo yung Divine Mercy na image? Sa sobrang laki ng pagmamahal at awa Niya para sa sangkatauhan ay nag-uumapaw na ito mula sa puso Niya. Gets mo ba, nag-uumapaw na, hindi na Niya ma-contain! He wants to pour it all out to us, but only if we allow Him. Kaya ano pang hinihintay mo, wag ka nang matakot, i-avail mo na!

EXTRA-CURRICULAR. Meron ding mga tao na tinuturing na extra-curricular activity ang Diyos. “Mamaya na ako magsisimba, magsa-shopping muna ako.” “Pagkatapos na lang ng lahat ng teleserye ako magdadasal.” “Pwede namang hindi magsimba ngayon, sa linggo na lang.” Nakupeng! Kawawa naman ang Diyos, nagkasya na lang sa mga tira-tirang oras mo.

Sa lahat ng gawain, si God dapat ang una. All our labor should be offered to God. Praising Him and glorifying Him in all we do should be our first priority. Hindi ko naman sinasabing maging pari o madre na tayong lahat. Ano na lang ang mangyayari kung lahat ng lalaki, magmimisa pag linggo? Edi wala nang lay minister? May mga taong talagang tinawag para diyan. Pero hindi natin dapat isinasantabi ang Diyos dahil busy tayo o hindi naman linggo. Magpapakain ka ba ng bahaw na kanin sa presidente ng Pilipinas? He does not deserve what’s left of you; He deserves all of you! As the saying goes, “I will not give to God an offering that costs me nothing.”

CALL CENTER. Call center ang tanungan ng mga taong lito. In the same way, may mga taong kung magtanong sa Diyos para Siyang call center. “Lord, bakit? Why is this happening?” “Bakit Mo kinuha ang mahal ko sa buhay?” “Anong ibig sabihin ng lahat ng ito?” “God, why am I suffering?” Para ka namang test paper, ang dami mong tanong.

Sa buhay, hindi mo naman kailangang intindihin lahat. Kapag sinubukan mong intindihin lahat, sasabog ang utak mo. You’ll gain more questions than answers. Hindi ka matatahimik. Bakit pilit mong inaalam kung bakit ginawa ng Diyos sa’yo ang ginawa Niya? May mga tanong ka na sasagutin ng Diyos, meron ding hindi. Kung hindi mo pa rin maintindihan, baka pagkakataon na ito para magtiwala ka sa Kanyang infinite wisdom. You do not see the entire puzzle; you merely see that small piece. But God sees them all and therefore, trust that He will place that piece of puzzle where it fits perfectly. Trust in God is the key. No one is more deserving of your trust than the one who lays His life for a friend.

GUILTY ba? Kahit naman ako na nagsulat nito, tinatamaan din sa mga sinasabi ko. Ayos lang yan. Mahal ka pa rin ng Panginoon. Ang mahalaga, kinikilala mo Siya at mahal mo Siya. Feeble man ang pagmamahal na yun, Siya na ang bahalang magpalago nun!

"You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you." John 15:16

Who glorifies Him the most?

I was inspired to write this story after reading Luke 19:28-40, when the people of Jerusalem welcomed Jesus by waving their palms and spreading their cloaks on the road.

When the Pharisees rebuked this praise to Jesus, He answered,

“I tell you ,if they keep quiet, the stones will cry out.” (Lk. 19:40)

May you be inspired! Gloria in excelsis Deo!

--------------------

WHO GLORIFIES HIM THE MOST?

Nature was in turmoil. The rock, sun, cloud, moon, and tree were in contest of whoever glorifies God the most. Everyone had something to brag about their contributions to the world.

“I glorify Him the most!” said the rock. “I stay on the land so humans could have a solid ground to step on. I serve as the stronghold of their houses.”

“No, I do more glory to God than you,” said the tree. “I help people by giving all of my parts for their needs. I serve as shelter, food, wood… everything!”

“That’s nothing,” said the cloud. “None of your specie could live without me. I bring rain to the earth and protect everyone with harmful rays of the sun. I glorify God more than all of you.”

“Is that all that you can do?” the sun said. “All of the earth depends on me. Without me, it would be darkness forever. I glorify God the most!”

They were about to fight when God came. All the creatures were delighted. They bowed down reverently in front of Him.

“My dear God,” the sun confronted him. “We were on a commotion a while ago on who glorifies You the most. But who do You think really does?”

God smiled and answered, “All work, no matter how small, if done sincerely and out of love for Me, shall bring Me glory.

You, rock, is the earth’s foundation. I made you hard and stout so you could fill this purpose. With your strength and firmness, you will bless the world and bring Me glory.

Tree, you give selflessly to provide for My people. I gave you this purpose of providing humans’ necessities, so you could bless the world and bring Me glory.

Cloud, your capacity to hold rain and pour it in need is My gift to you. I want you to quench the thirst of the earth. Bless the world and bring Me glory.

Sun, you shine above the world and all My creations. Your capacity to bring sunlight to the earth is My gift to you, so you could bless the world and bring Me glory.

I have called you for a purpose, and I equipped you. I crafted each of you perfectly. I want to use you for the good of all, so the world could take glimpse of My goodness and love.

If only all humans would realize this purpose of theirs, as the rock, the tree, the cloud and the sun had realized, then they would know why they are built: to bless the world and glorify Me.”

With this, the four creatures went on their way – the rock staying on the ground, the tree giving food and wood, the cloud pouring rain, and the sun shining everyday – all to bless the world and give Him glory.

The Spiritual Battle - Plants vz. Zombies Style

Lately, I’ve had this fascination to Plants vs. Zombies. Okay, I know I am a few months late but when PVZ was “in season” I had other games to attend to (you know those games in Facebook). And when everyone got bored with PVZ it was my time to get hooked with it.

PVZ is a strategy game. You cherish your brains. The zombies attack the house to eat your brains. You plant crops that would protect your house. The zombies go to your lawn and the battle begins.

Spiritual battle is just like PVZ. I know it is quite silly to compare such a spiritual matter to a computer game, but remember that in order for us to understand God, He needed to come to the world. That means He needed to situate Himself in something understandable to us, for us to experience the fullness of Him.

BRAINS – the Soul

Brain is the very essence of being human. It is the most cherished possession. Without it, no thinking could take place. It should be well-taken care of. Brains are a yummy meal for zombies.

Our souls are the most essential part of our being. It cannot be detached from the physical body, but it should take authority to the body. It is everlasting. When all else have faded and turned into ash, the soul will remain to be united to its Creator, or will suffer eternal fire. Therefore, the soul should be well-taken care of.

ZOMBIES – the Devil

They are fearless. They come in groups. They have different styles to reach the house quickly and get your brains. Some walk. Some run. Some jump high. Others come from the sky. Others are invisible, too.

The devil is the enemy of the soul. The main purpose of its existence is to doom mankind. Its misery in hell pushes it to take us with it to suffer eternally. All of them have their different styles to do so. They target our weakness and focus on it. They will not give up devouring our souls until our last breath.

PLANTS - The Church, Sacraments, Prayers, Personal Relationship with God

The zombies attack, but when they arrive at the lawn they see a line of defense. They still try to invade the lawn, but could not go on anymore. Peashooter shoots them. Wallnut blocks their way. Cherrybomb explodes to drop them dead.

Without the Church, Sacraments, personal prayers, and your overall struggle to know Him, your soul is directly available to the devil. That is why it is important to hold on to the Church for your own spiritual growth. Personal prayer is important, too. One must have a personal relationship with the Lord in order to realize his sins, overcome his weakness and defeat the enemy.

SUNFLOWER – The Holy Spirit

Without the sunflower, nothing could be done with the lawn. The sunflower is the source of “energy” or points needed to avail plants. You should plant as many sunflowers as possible for more sources of light.

Just as sunflower gives out light, the Holy Spirit enlightens our souls and brings our hearts to God. It gives us the light for us to know the Truth. The Holy Spirit is the Light that the Church needs for its guidance. It is the Light that gives effect to Sacraments. It is also the Light that moves our prayers and purifies our intention.

This is the battle of plants and zombies. This is our spiritual battle. We may not notice it, but everyday, the battle goes on. Zombies come constantly to capture our brains. We plant some prayers in our lawn and the zombie is defeated. It cannot be avoided but sometimes, our plants are eaten by zombies. We should not be disheartened but rather, trust that the Sunflower would give use enough light to get plants again and win the battle.

Take up your cross

“Take up your cross,” He said.

The day He told it to me, I was shocked,

And “No, never!” was my answer.

Why would He want me to suffer?

I never wanted to take that cross,

Even if He asked me to.

So I tried to ran away.

I ran and hid away from Him,

Far from His presence

So that He could never claim me

And ask me that burdensome thing.

But then I heard His voice again.

“Take up your cross,” He said.

I trembled in fear, for I had no faith

So I ran in the world to escape from Him.

In my escape, I wandered everywhere

And the world provided what I wanted

Luxury, fame, power, self-glory;

Yet my heart was empty.

What was missing? I took a glance

I saw the cross on the ground,

Waiting to be picked up.

“Take up your cross,” He was persistent.

I could not escape His call.

And so I walked and took the cross,

Ready to be crucified.

The cross was heavy and hard,

It almost crushed my shoulders.

But after some time, it became easier

Until it was as light as a feather.

I was amazed I paused for a while.

I looked behind and saw Christ

Who was the one carrying all the weight.

I asked, “Why Lord? This I’m supposed to carry.”

He answered,

“My child, this is My cross,

You merely shared in my suffering.”

Valentines Date

(I posted this last V-day. All for His glory!)

(This one's dedicated to my greatest Lover. For you from me this Valentines. :D

Single people out there: don't be sad this Valentines! It's not all about romantic love. In fact we are all loved -- by Jesus.)

I have a date this Valentines Day

And I’m excited to the nerve.

He is the best guy of all times

Whom in fact, I do not deserve.

My date lived in humble poverty

And he did not own anything.

But when he showed me his true riches

They are far better than every thing.

All heaven and earth went on rejoicing

When the virgin laid him on the manger.

Though he deserved the greatest welcoming

He stayed being so humble forever.

He never had money to buy a lot

Yet he gave everything that is mine.

He lived in no greater than a small hut

Yet in need he changed water into wine.

He was a nobody in this cruel world

But in eternal kingdom, king was he.

He did not have to bother suffering

But he chose to shed his blood for me.

He will take me not in somewhere classy

Or in an expensive Christmas eve.

But I, for sure, will never go hungry

For he’ll give himself, so that I may live.

I could never find a greater lover

As my loving Jewish carpenter.

For his love for me have stayed forever

And loneliness with him I’ll find never.