When escapism is not an option

I admit I am an escapist. When problems start to arise and I deem I cannot solve them, I run away like hell. I usually literally run away (I mean not exactly literal, I walk not run), like I go somewhere where I could be alone. Or I go to a friend to tell my headaches.

That is what I want to do now. Or at least I think. I want to run away now! Responsibilities start to haunt me. I could crack anytime on the pressure. Three months to go and my thesis should be done. Less than two months to go before the concert. And! My committee's way waaaay behind our schedule. It's my fault. My mishaps are all my fault. I have a lot of debt. Financial debt and time-debt (you know when you say to your friends 'I'll make it up to you'? That's time-debt. I have a lot of something like that promised to my friends). If burdens were food, I'd probably be throwing up.

Usually, people are in their comfort zone and they're ok with that. But right here right now, I admit I am not in my comfort zone due to these responsibilities I'm not really used to. I'm supposed to be OH SHOCKS I GOT DISTRACTED AND FORGOT WHAT I WAS SUPPOSED TO WRITE, SO I GUESS I'LL SKIP THIS PARAGRAPH.

Speaking of comfort zone, whenever I'm being shaken out of my comfort zone, I tend to run away. But this time, I guess escapism is not an option. How could I possibly escape when I have a family waiting for me to get that diploma (THAT DIPLOMA! How dare you make it so hard for me)? How could I run away from an entire organization that needs me because of an essential task I hold in this concert we hold for Him? How about my job as a tutor? Will I ever be able to pay my debts if I don't work? I have a crappy schedule these days.

I am constantly being reminded by the story of Jonah. Jonah was an escapist too, so I guess he's my great great great great great grandfather to the nth level. When God sent him to proclaim judgment to Nineveh (thanks Wiki for helping me), instead of heading straight to the place, he decided to run away. He attempted to flee by ship, but God sent a great storm on the sea. The crews cast Jonah overboard to appease God's wrath (thanks again Wiki) and a gigantic sea creature swallowed him. He stayed inside the creature for three days and three nights, pondering over the runaway from God he attempted.

Am I on the same situation? Mandated by God for a lot of tasks but still resisting to take them. If I were Jonah, three hundred fishes could have swallowed me because of my stubbornness. But even if i want to escape from all of these, I know I can't; so I guess I'll have to pray for the gift of long-suffering.

I wish to take this yoke because I could be totally sure that I won't carry it alone. I wish to take the cross because I love the One who carried it for me before. No matter how far I am from that ultimate desire to feel His pain, I still want to go nearer and nearer until I could almost feel the nails on my hands and feet.

Pray with me that I would never run from my tasks again. Because I could never be an escapist for the rest of my life. Somehow, somewhere, I know I got to face it all. So help me God.