Word Cloud for my blogs

This is the word cloud for this blog. Hehe. :)

My zealous friend.

(I delivered this reflection last night at the ComRep Vigil in LBDH. Gloria in excelsis Deo!)

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ZEALOUS FRIEND. Ako po si Mich. Senior Devcom student from UPLB. Thesis na lang ang nagpapatagal sa akin sa university. Noong March pa sana ako napagraduate ng UP kaya lang tumagal dahil hindi pa tapos ang thesis. Kaya I’m still here at nakakasama nyo pang magvigil ngayon. Anyway, I am going to share with you some insights on how Jesus has been a zealous friend to me.

Iniisip siguro ng marami na ang ganda ganda ng relationship ko with God. Bilang isang member ng UPLB Lisieux Music Ministry at isang taong simbahan, palagi akong makikita sa simbahan. Minsan nagsisimba, madalas umaattend ng  activities ng Lisyu, at madalas tumatambay lang naghahanap ng ka-lunch. Akala yata nila banal ako, lalo na ng mga kasama ko sa devcom.

Ang hindi alam ng marami, I have this sort of love-hate relationship with God. Hindi ako palaging high na high. “O Lord, thank you so much. You are so great. I love You so!” hindi ko yan palaging nasasambit. To tell you honestly, minsan ko lang yan nasasabi, puno pa ng doubts. Nakwento ko na ito sa ilan sa atin. Ang buhay ko noon ay no sweat. Pinalaki ako nang hindi pinagdadanas ng hirap, kahit gumawa ng household chores. Parang prinsesa lang talaga ako sa bahay, spoiled na spoiled. Kaya gagawa man ako ng chores, yung magagaan lang gaya ng pagwawalis o pag-urong ng sampay.

When I was “initiated” to the jungle-like life of college in UPLB, I was bombarded. Mahirap pala ang tunay na buhay. Hindi ako sanay nang nahihirapan, kaya lahat ng paghihirap ay tinake ko against me and against Him. Feeling ko galit sa akin ang Diyos. Everytime I experienced a difficulty, I would turn to God and say “Parusa mo ba ‘to sa mga kasalanan ko?” “Pinagsisilbihan naman Kita ah, eto pa ba ang igaganti Mo? Bakit ako?” Ang kapal lang noh? Pero kapag naman ok na, magsosorry naman ako. “Lord, I did not mean what I said. You know me naman, nakakapagsabi ng mga salitang wala sa loob ko. Sorry Lord.” As I told you, I have a love-hate relationship with God.

Give me roses, I would gladly accept them, praise God and thank Him. Give me thorns, I would readily despise them and question God why He would want to give me those thorns. There came a point when I totally rejected His cross. Out and out sinabi ko yun sa Kanya. “No, Lord. I don’t accept the cross. I am rejecting it. Take it away from me.”

Na-realize ko kung gaano yung gravity ng sinabi ko na yun. Para ko na ring ni-reject si Lord. Kasi hindi mapaghihiwalay si Hesus at ang krus. If I reject the cross, I reject Christ. Anyway, na-confess ko na yun at alam ko napatawad na ako ng Diyos. After that incident, okey na ulit kami. As I’ve said, it’s a love-hate relationship I have with God. Hindi ko naman talaga “hate” and Diyos, nase-shake lang talaga ako ng mga pagsubok sa buhay.

Pero kung love / hate man ang nararamdaman ko towards God, ako lang yun. Dahil Siya, alam kong hindi nagbabago. Zealous friend nga. Hindi lang basta friend eh, zealous pa. So passionate, so longing, so real. I could feel how He longs to be my friend. Nararamdaman ko yung saya Niya sa tuwing babalik ako sa Kanya, sa tuwing magsosorry ako, sa tuwing pupunta ako sa confession. Nararamdaman ko rin yung lungkot Niya sa tuwing tatalikod ako sa Kanya. Sa tuwing magtatanong ako ng “Bakit ako na naman Lord?” at lalo sa tuwing irereject ko Siya. Naiimagine ko yung lungkot sa mga mata Niya, at sa totoo lang masakit din, because of course I do love Christ, but this love is so frail.

Huling hirit. Dati nagde-daydream ako. May lalaki daw na mamamatay for me. Iba-ibang scenario. Kunwari mababaril daw ako tapos haharangan niya yung bala tapos siya yung mababaril. Tapos habang duguan, sasabihin niya daw that he loves me so much. Basta, how I loved the idea that someone would feel so great a love for me he would be willing to die for me. Now I realized that I need not to dream of it, it actually happened! Two thousand years ago pa. Hindi ko pa man hinihiling, naganap na. Ang kaibahan lang, hindi Niya hiniling na mahalin ko rin Siya. Basta nagmamahal Siya, whatever it takes. Tapos yung taong yon, mahal Niya pa rin yung mga taong nagpako sa Kanya. I imagine the pain on His head brought by the crown of thorns. Dapat sakin yon, kasi ako naman yung nagkasala. Pero inangkin Niya, best friend ko daw kasi Siya at best friend Niya ako. Pero paano ako magiging best friend sa Kanya kung ako mismo ang may hawak ng martilyo? Ako yung magdidiin ng pako sa mga palad Niya. At araw-araw ko yung gagawin dahil araw-araw ko Siyang ipinapako sa krus dahil sa mga kasalanan ko… but the blood He will shed out, will be for my salvation. Ironic. Truly ironic, almost impossible to understand. This is the mystery of the love of God. This is the best thing about Him – He is so selfless, so loving. He is the best best friend one could ever have.

Catching up 1: Singing contest

Remember my blog last June? I said I would catch up on the blog. But since I was so so busy in the previous days (and still busy right now), I just remembered to write about it now.

This June is supposed to be my last semester in UPLB. I am supposed to be graduating (I'm still keeping my fingers crossed). One week after the resume of classes, i joined a singing contest together with three of my orgmates.

It was my first time to join such a contest. You know, I am not really that exceptional when it comes to singing but since I badly needed money that time, I had no choice but to risk my dignity (haha).

It was not easy for me to choose a song. i had a lot of songs in mind but it seemed to me that nothing fits my alto-chest tone-when it comes to pop songs voice. In the choir I sing as a soprano, but the choir is a totally different world i cannot use the technique I know for this contest.

So there. I decided to sing a song by Sisqo. No, I chose the version of Freestyle. It is much shorter and I am more familiar to it.

When I was in the backstage, I was so nervous! Of course, being a first-timer, i didn't know how to sing in front of people in a contest. The other contestants were so great! But when it was time for me to sing, I just decided to offer it to God and just do my best.

It was a wonderful experience! I really imagined God in the audience watching and me and smiling at me. I imagined angels watching, too. What I had in mind while performing was "This voice is what You gave me, and now I'm offering it back to You!"

When the top 5 was announced, I wasn't included. But it was okay! Way way fine. I was humbled even though I did not win anything.

While walking home with my orgmates (who were so supportive I was touched), someone from them was talking to me.

"Sayang yung cash prize. Wala na tuloy akong pang-tuition," I said.

"Magkano ba kailangan mo?"

"Mga 5k sana. Pambayad ng loan at pang-reg."

"Papahiramin na lang kita. Sayang naman kung di ka makaka-reg dahil lang dun."

Miracles happen. :)

We will never be defeated :)

"The Church has ever proved indestructible. Her persecutors have failed to destroy her; in fact, it was during times of persecution that the Church grew more and more; while the persecutors themselves, and those whom the Church would destroy, are the very ones who came to nothing. . . .Again, errors have assailed her; but in fact, the greater the number of errors that have arisen, the more has the truth been made manifest. . . . Nor has the Church failed before the assaults of demons: for she is like a tower of refuge to all who fight against the Devil."

--St. Thomas Aquinas

Bakit tao ka at hindi ibon

Isang araw, kinainggitan ko ang mga ibon.

Lipad lang kasi sila ng lipad. Wala silang problema. Walang mabigat na pinapasan. Walang 18 units at hindi na kailangang pumasok sa eskwelahan. Walang thesis na kailangang intindihin. Hindi na kailangang mamroblema sa pera. Hindi na kailangang kumita ng pera! Kontento na sa kung anong bigay na pagkain ng Maykapal. Hay. Sarap ng buhay.

Hindi sila nasasaktan. Hindi sila nalulungkot. Walaaaang ka-proble-problema.

Eh ang tao? Gigising sa araw-araw, nangangamba kung may pera pang pambili ng pagkain. Nagpaplano sa thesis na ikamamatay muna ng katawan at isipan bago matapos. Ipapasa mo na lang ang thesis, mava-virusan pa. Lolokohin ng kung sinu-sino. May mangsa-snatch ng bag. Puro misfortunes ang tao kumpara sa ibon.

Nakakainis. Parang ang unfair naman ng buhay. Bakit ang mga hayop, ang tatahimik lang pero nabubuhay sila ng ganoon lang? Di kaya sana naging ibon na lang ako?

Kung bibigyan ng pagkakataon na maging ibon ka na lang, papayag ka ba? Para lang maka-iwas ka sa mga problema at inconveniences ng buhay? Parang magandang deal yon noh.

Pero alam ko ang isasagot mo. Ganyan din ang sagot ko.

Una, tayo ang center of God's creation. We are dominion to the plants, animals, and all creatures of God. Ibig sabihin, tayo ang pinakamahalagang nilikha. Tayo ang favorite. Tayo ang apple of the eye (cf. Psalm 17:8).

Isipin mo, ginawa muna ng Diyos ang lahat ng kailangan natin bago Niya tayo ginawa. Ang liwanag, ang mga bituin, ang araw, ang tubig, lupa, hayop, halaman. Ibig sabihin, pinaghandaan na Niya tayo. Para sa atin ang lahat ng ito! Kaya special tayo.

Pangalawa, andami naman nating mami-miss sa buhay kung sakaling naging ibon tayo at hindi tao. Hindi ka maipapanganak. Kung ibon ka, maha-'hatch' ka lang galing sa itlog. Itlog na ang bagong 'bahay-bata.' Pwede kang basta na lang iwan sa kalsada, edi kawawa ka naman, ni hindi mo kilala ang mga magulang mo. Masahol ka pa sa inabort. Pag-inincubator ka naman, baka maging balut ka lang. Good luck.

Mahihirapan ka ding makipag-socialize sa kapwa mo ibon dahil magkakamukha lang kayo. Halos pare-pareho lang ang features ng mukha niyo kaya kailangan nyong lahat ng nametag. Tapos, pano ka magsusulat ng nametag eh wala ka namang kamay? Pantuka lang meron ka. Tukain mo yung tinta tas saka ka magsulat gamit ang beak mo. Good luck.

Hindi rin kayo makakapag-usap ng mga kapwa mo ibon ng gaya sa tao. Wala kayong masasabi kundi tweet tweet. Puro na kayo "tweet-er", literally. Hindi na kayo makakapag-tongue twister dahil wala naman kayong tongue in the first place. Hindi na kayo makakapagsabi ng supercalifragilisticcoxpialidocious. Good luck.

Puro kalokohan ang sinasabi ko. Pero seriously... Pinagpala ka dahil isa kang tao.

Kung hindi ka tao, hindi mo makikilala ang mga magulang mo ngayon. Hindi mo mararamdaman kung paano ka buhatin ng tatay mo noong maliit ka pa. Hindi mo matitikman ang luto ng nanay mo.

Kung hindi ka tao, walang pangarap. Walang kilig. Walang ngiti. Walang konsensiya.

Walang pananampalataya. Walang pag-asa. Walang pagmamahal na handang ialay ang sarili para sa isang kaibigan.

Kung hindi ka tao, hindi mo Siya makikilala. Ang Taong hari na pero piniling ipanganak sa sabsaban.

Ang Taong pinakamatalino ngunit piniling maging isang abang manggagawa sa mahabang panahon.

Ang Taong malinis ngunit piniling makipagkaibigan sa mga makasalanan.

Ang Taong dapat pagsilbihan ngunit piniling hugasan ang paa ng Kanyang mga tagasilbi.

At ang Taong hinampas, hinamak at pinagtawanan na nga, nagmamahal pa.

Sinadya Niya ang lahat. Gusto ka Niyang mabuhay. Bilang TAO.

Sundin mo ang tawag Niya.

Yan ang dahilan kaya tao ka at hindi ibon.

Panginoon, salamat sa buhay na ito. Mararanasan ko na naman ang pagmamahal Mo.

Pagpalain ang Diyos. Tweet tweet!

There's a lot of catching up I need to do.

I really need to catch up with the blog. I've been very busy with acads and other stuff, and now I think I will have ample time writing. Plus the fact that I am living with my brothers (i'm their adopted sister-achay, hehe) in this apartment and they leave their laptops and I am all alone and I think of nothing but to write, (aside from cleaning the house, achay nga ako diba).

Happenings I'd blog later: (I listed them in case I forget)

1. The singing contest I joined a few weeks ago (I was supposed to blog only about the auditions; I never thought I would make it to the finals);

2. My struggle finishing my thesis proposal; and

3. That fateful day when I ALMOST lost my thesis file due to some sick virus (mind you, I didn't have any back-up files!)

For now, I would clean the house. Achay mode again. Hehe. Catch ya later!

Simple reasons why the RH Bill should be opposed (repost)

This is a repost from another repost from fightrhbill.blogspot.com, in the efforts of making COMMON SENSE more common. :) NO TO RH BILL!

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Unheard of reasons why I am against the RH Bill

by "Trish" of "Eat My Chalk Dust"

Conversations with pro-RH and watching debates on TV made me realize these new reasons why I’m against the RH Bill:

1) It condones negligent parents by saying: “Parents are irresponsible. Who else will teach the children on sex? The Government needs to intervene.”

2) It also condones corruption in government: “Alam naman nating mahirap pugsain ang corruption sa Pilipinas. When else will we start helping the poor?”

3) It demeans the ability of the poor to practice discipline in NFP. “Natural doesn’t always seem to work for the very poor that’s why they have 6-11 children ” – Karen Davila

4) For the sake of choice, the pro-RH wants the poor to choose between natural and Group 1 carcinogens (contraceptive pills), and provide the latter for free.

5) The pro-RH are “not aware” of the abortifacient nature of contraceptive pills. Their comment? “In my opinion, they are not abortifacients.” Now medicine has become a matter of opinion. Add to that the opinion on where life begins.

6) The pro-RH will always downplay the obvious connection of contraception and abortion as if they are two different advocacies in the real pro-life stand. They will not answer the question of Plan B if contraception fails.

7) Rep. Hontiveros’ idea of sex education is contradicting: A – bstinence, B-e monogamous, and C-ontraception. Why put abstinence and contraception together? Why A if there is C? Why C if there is A?

8 ) Carlos Celdran is one name-calling pro-RH. No need to elaborate. (Rep. Hontiveros needs to tame him down.)

9) The pro-RH camp would last resort to destroying the person (and the Church) in their defense. These politicians do not know how to engage in a sustained reasonable debate. Can they just stick to the issue?

On NFP.

Pro-RH: “If it is so great, then why hasn’t the church teach about it with vigor like what they’re screaming about it now?”

Me: “Naku, you put in the Church na into our discussion. I wanted to keep the Church out of it. Now that you mentioned it, let’s put the Church in.”

Pro-RH: “My bad. I thought your linking it to there stand [sic].”

10) “Iba ang moralidad niyo sa moralidad ko.” – Dr. Sylvia Caludio. Aba! Then why should we let you impose your morality that contraception and abortion are okay on us? Dr. Claudio by the way is the chairman of WGNRR, an organization that supports abortion. “[Dr. Claudio] and her org can promote it all she wants. I don’t, and will not start advocating it.” – Ms. Lea Salonga.

11) The RH Bill is filed under the Commission on Population and Development. But they push on health benefits. It should then be files under Health, di ba? I smell something fishy.

Why I support the Catholic Church in its fight against the RH Bill:

1) The Church believes that the poor are human persons who are capable of practicing discipline.

2) She has been consistent in her arguments against the RH Bill. There is no need for strategy changes.

3) They protect the real essence of the woman, her uterus, by keeping the dangerous pills from destroying it.

4) The Church does help save the women’s lives by not promoting Group 1 carcinogens (e.g. contraceptive pills).

5) She supports PNoy’s slogan: “Kung walang corrupt, walang mahirap.”

6) The pronoun for the Catholic Church is actually female.

7) The Church has always been pro-poor: Caritas. Visit the website, you’ll see the programs for the poor there. Some Catholics are active also in helping the poor: Gawad Kalinga.

A brief message for those who claim themselves to be Catholics but are pro-RH: Have you read the Catechism of the Catholic Church? For sure, you haven’t. I suggest you read it. It’s very reasonable. It is “faith seeking understanding.” Then, and only then, can we have a decent discussion involving the Church without destroying its credibility.

I am entitled to my own realizations, and these are just based on my experiences. For sure there are exceptions to these instances. When I sound like I am generalizing, I am only referring to the people I had been exposed to.

My blog, my rules. For a change, comments section will only be dedicated to understanding the side of those against the RH Bill. This blog will be dedicated to fully understanding the Anti-RH Bill side. I expect questions about and supporting facts for the Anti-RH stand in the comments section. Any comment posted that doesn’t follow the rules will not be posted.

Cheers!