The unsolicited gift.

Humans are skeptical beings. They tend to find empirical evidence before believing in something, and that evidence must be verified a couple more times before its authenticity is validated.

The concept of Faith seems foolish to man. It defies man's tendencies: to find evidences they can see or touch, to appear 'rational' to others, and to succumb to a higher Authority (which he does not even see!). To some people, this act of succumbing is the deal-breaker; the concept of a higher Authority whom they must follow seems unthinkable to them that they are left with only one choice: to deny His existence and live as a soulless being who shall perish with the world.

Therefore, Faith must be something divine. We will not be capable of having Faith if this Faith is not given by God Himself. Faith is not something we "struggle" to acquire; it is an unanticipated, unsolicited, and at most times, undeserved gift. If we have even a little flicker of this gift, we remain connected to God.

Man has always thirsted for a genesis - an explanation on how things, including himself, came to be. He is boggled by the past and the future. And even if he does not know it, and no matter how hard he denies it, his mind shall forever brew this idea that there must be a higher Authority.

The only way to quench this thirst of God is to surrender to it; otherwise, you will get tired of running away from the Truth. This very act of acknowledging His Lordship is the first step to Faith. This is the first of the thousand steps in your relationship to God. This relationship, when nurtured, shall consume your being, greater and greater until this relationship becomes all that matters to you. It shall matter the most, and it should, because in reality, it is indeed the only thing that matters in the end.

While you constantly resist the Authority, you reject the gift of Faith that He had long sewn in your heart. Only by acknowledging His Lordship shall the thirst of the purpose of life be quenched; only by submitting to Him shall one become at peace with the present, past and future. For while a great part of man denies this submission to God, there is a small, whispering part of him that longs for this submission.

With this note, let me share with you a beautiful excerpt from the Catechism of the Catholic Church, which so wonderfully summarizes this blog:

27 The desire for God is written in the human heart, because man is created by God and for God; and God never ceases to draw man to himself. Only in God will he find the truth and happiness he never stops searching for:

The dignity of man rests above all on the fact that he is called to communion with God. This invitation to converse with God is addressed to man as soon as he comes into being. For if man exists it is because God has created him through love, and through love continues to hold him in existence. He cannot live fully according to truth unless he freely acknowledges that love and entrusts himself to his creator.

28 In many ways, throughout history down to the present day, men have given expression to their quest for God in their religious beliefs and behavior: in their prayers, sacrifices, rituals, meditations, and so forth. These forms of religious expression, despite the ambiguities they often bring with them, are so universal that one may well call man a religious being:

From one ancestor [God] made all nations to inhabit the whole earth, and he allotted the times of their existence and the boundaries of the places where they would live, so that they would search for God and perhaps grope for him and find him - though indeed he is not far from each one of us. For "in him we live and move and have our being."

29 But this "intimate and vital bond of man to God" (GS 19 § 1) can be forgotten, overlooked, or even explicitly rejected by man.3 Such attitudes can have different causes: revolt against evil in the world; religious ignorance or indifference; the cares and riches of this world; the scandal of bad example on the part of believers; currents of thought hostile to religion; finally, that attitude of sinful man which makes him hide from God out of fear and flee his call.

30 "Let the hearts of those who seek the LORD rejoice." Although man can forget God or reject him, He never ceases to call every man to seek him, so as to find life and happiness. But this search for God demands of man every effort of intellect, a sound will, "an upright heart", as well as the witness of others who teach him to seek God.

You are great, O Lord, and greatly to be praised: great is your power and your wisdom is without measure. And man, so small a part of your creation, wants to praise you: this man, though clothed with mortality and bearing the evidence of sin and the proof that you withstand the proud. Despite everything, man, though but a small a part of your creation, wants to praise you. You yourself encourage him to delight in your praise, for you have made us for yourself, and our heart is restless until it rests in you.

_______________________________

(This blog is inspired by the latest encyclical of our Holy Fathers, Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI and Pope Francis, Lumen Fidei. I cannot describe how deeply moved I am by their writing. Read the encyclical here.)

Confesion

Señor, yo llevo cansado

El corazon de sojoñar,

Y tan lejos me han llevedo

Los ensueños y mi andar,

Que el polvo de mis caminos

Me impide ya caminar.

Panginoon, pagal na ang

puso ko sa pangangarap

Taglay itong mithiin

Sa aking paglalakad

Malayo na ang narating.

At ang alikabok nitong dinaanan

Ay naging balakid sa landas ng tinahak.

-Adelina Gurrea Monasterio, Confesion

Humbled and thankful.

Posted this on fb a few weeks ago:

People who loathe the Catholic Church focus on the sinfulness of her people - the sinful clergy, the erring laity, the lukewarm community. On the other hand, people who love the Catholic Church see beyond her members; their focus is the Head, Jesus Christ, who is "behind the power" of the Church and, despite the sinfulness of her members, kept her free from doctrinal errors.

Being a member of this Church is a humbling act. Forever, you are scorned by the world and labeled as sinful; and indeed, you are. But it is through admitting our sinful nature that God's grace shall abound more in us. "Healthy people don't need a doctor, but sick people do. I did not come to call the righteous but sinners." (Mark 2:17)

True story.

On martyrdom of the saints:

Reading the lives of the martyred saints always gives me goosebumps. I can imagine the devil say: "Man, I thought I could silence the Holy Spirit by putting threat into the lives of these poor followers, but dammit, they are so willing to die for their faith!"

Now I can make the sign of the Cross, attend Mass, and say 'I worship Jesus!' without fear of being crucified or fed to the lions. And for this, I am eternally thankful to these martyrs for dying for the faith, the faith I am now free to enjoy.

This is why the Church, despite all odds, managed to stand, firm and stronger than ever, for two thousand years and more - "Ang nagdilig sa Simbahan ay dugo ng mga martir."

True story, bro.

Coincidences.

Tue,May 7,2013

Was it all a coincidence that today, I...
1) was able to "accidentally" attend a Mass well-celebrated?
2) listened as the priest said "Don't worry, God is there" over and over, and felt as if God Himself was talking to me?
3) thrice saw a NEVER GIVE UP shirt?
4) saw the place where I yearn to be right before my eyes, and  was reminded of His purpose for me?

Yeah Lord, You never fail to manifest Your presence when I seem to forget.

A reality after delivery.

This is a repost from Facebook. It's beautiful, I'd like to share it with you.

"In a mother's womb were two babies. One asked the other: "Do you believe in life after delivery?" The other replies, "why, of course. There has to be something after delivery. Maybe we are here to prepare ourselves for what we will be later. "Nonsense," says the other. "There is no life after delivery. What would that life be?" "I don't know, but there will be more light than here. Maybe we will walk with our legs and eat from our mouths." The other says "This is absurd! Walking is impossible. And eat with our mouths? Ridiculous. The umbilical cord supplies nutrition. Life after delivery is to be excluded. The umbilical cord is too short." "I think there is something and maybe it's different than it is here." the other replies, "No one has ever come back from there. Delivery is the end of life, and in the after-delivery it is nothing but darkness and anxiety and it takes us nowhere." "Well, I don't know," says the other, "but certainly we will see mother and she will take care of us." "Mother??" You believe in mother? Where is she now? "She is all around us. It is in her that we live. Without her there would not be this world." "I don't see her, so it's only logical that she doesn't exist." To which the other replied, "sometimes when you're in silence you can hear her, you can perceive her." I believe there is a reality after delivery and we are here to prepare ourselves for that reality..."

FAITH ♥

Waiting in line.

Again Jesus said to them, "Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I send you." After saying this he breathed on them and said to them, "Receive the Holy Spirit; for those whose sins you forgive, they are forgiven; for those whose sins you retain, they are retained. - John 20:21-23

That particular waiting area outside the confession box is a crucial place. Based on my experience, the hardest part of undergoing the Sacrament of Reconciliation is not the confession itself, but waiting in line for the confession.

Everytime I go to confession (and believe me, it is less frequent than you think), I get jitters waiting on the line to the confession box. My mind would go overboard. It would think one or a few of the following:

1. My sins are so severe. God can never forgive me for this.
2. My sins are not that severe. There's really no need to avail of the sacrament. (I might be bipolar :p)
3. It wretches my ego to tell someone about my innermost secrets. And that someone is also a sinner like me, so what's the point?
4. The priest might scold me. How shameful would it be!
5. The priest would be uninterested to hear my story. He has heard it a thousand times.

And so on.

My mind goes on almost paranoid mode before confession. Add to those items my fears, such as "what if I miss or forget one major sin, and make my confession invalid?" or "what if this is the same priest I encountered in my last confession, and he remembers my sins and gets mad at me for committing them again?" or simply "what if I fail in this confession?"

The waiting area outside the confession box is both a comfortable and uncomfortable place. In that area, I find consolation: people who are as wounded as I am, waiting in line, seeking to be healed in this great infirmary that is the Church, through the great antidote that is the Sacrament, by the ultimate Healer that is Christ. How consoling it is to find a fellow sinner seeking the mercy of God!

But that area is uncomfortable for me too: in this place, all my transgressions are rubbed in so deeply to my conscience. The image of the crucified Christ is a few feet away; it reminds me of the price He have paid  for the offenses I put in my list. Add to the discomfort the uneasiness, the doubts, and the second thoughts of not going to confession at all.

My confession last Wednesday is well-etched on my memory; it was not any ordinary confession (Correction: no confession is ordinary. For grace is always extraordinary!). I started crying while waiting in line for my turn. I don't usually do this! Never, never have I cried like this in confession.

It dawned on me that on the other side of the confessional, the one waiting for me is not just a priest, but CHRIST Himself. He is on the other side of the confessional, and at the same time beside me on my side of the confessional. While He very compassionately listens to my sins, He is actually near me, embracing me. The thought that struck me the most is the fact that confessing my sins to Him is like giving Him His death sentence. "Jesus, I did this, and that. I am sorry." To which He replies, "You are forgiven. Now hold the hammer and start crucifying Me, and I will die in your place."

Reflecting about this while waiting for my turn in the confessional made me shed a few tears. It still sends me shivers down my spine.

Pope Francis told us not to get tired of asking for forgiveness, for He never tires of forgiving us. Let us always avail of the Sacrament of Reconciliation. Let us be truly sorry for our sins and find ways on how not to commit them again. May we always pray for each other as we struggle in the path of holiness. All for the greater glory of God!