On the sin of pride.

Sorry, I feel like being preachy today. I am no theologist nor religious, but I am 'proud' (not in a bad sense) to realize that in a certain level, I have figured out the irony of pride. Yes, it is too ironic it even seems confusing to the rational mind.

I thought pride only meant feeling too superior to others. I thought it only meant merely failing to submit to others' authority when necessary. In a nutshell, those may be true but pride is a complex concept and is much, much more than that.

Any thought that roots from extreme love of the self is pride. Yes, superiority complex is pride. That feeling that you are always 'right' is pride. When you think that no one should boss you around. When you insist your opinions and shun down others'. When most of the time, you think your 'ego' is being shaken (hey, I also realized that 'ego' is such a proud concept. At the same time I believe that much of it is imaginary). Those self-centered thinking results from the tendency of the pride of our heart.

But do you know that inferiority complex is pride too? Feeling ashamed to face other people because of the fear of being ridiculed. Being restrained in your comfort zone because of the fear of commiting a mistake. Those kinds of fear come from pride. We feel that kind of fear because we tend to defend ourselves from harm. Part of our human nature is to be inclined to self-preservation and perpetuation.

But anything that roots from our excessive self-love is already pride. Even the mere fact that we feel that we are humble enough is a sure sign of pride. This is the most ironic part. Those who feel that they are already good and humble are the persons infected with that dangerous pride. They are likened to the pharisees and scribes who criticized Jesus but failed to recognized their rotten selves.

On the other hand, admitting that you are proud actually removes your pride, strip by strip, brick by brick. Ironic, eh? The publican who recognized that he is a sinner was highly favored by God. But woe to the clergy in Jesus' time who were self-rightous and contented of themselves.

There are other indicators of pride but I cannot exhaust all. It is up to our judgment and discernment.

Mary was the perfect example of total humility. In spite of her nothingness (in terms of worldly matters, of course), she was the one chosen to be mother of the Messiah. If she had superiority complex, she would have proudly accepted the deal because she would think she was the rightest person worthy of Christ. That kind of thinking would be so unright, even if she is indeed the rightest person. If Mary had inferiority complex, she would not have accepted it. She would think of what others would say because she was unworthy. If that were so, then mankind is doomed.

But Mary accepted the deal as a lowly servant of the Lord. She made her Fiat not out of any feeling of superiority nor 'what-would-they-say-if-I-didn't-follow' thinking, but out of perfect resignation to the will of God.

May we learn true humility from the lowly and glorious life of Mary. :)